The Island of Ammon

Nestled in the Adriatic Sea is an island called Ammon, its only claim to fame a series of giant sculptures of goats, referred to as ammonites, placed in ancient times in a spiral formation. It is unknown what tribes performed this feat using only primitive tools, or why goats were considered important. Also odd are the curious spirals carved on the surface of the udders of the goats.

Source: Pikiwedia.calm

Goat Disorders

Ammonites is a peculiar rash found on the udders of goats in a spiral formation. The cause of this is uncertain, but is thought to occur from eating an excess of purple fruit. The goats do not express discomfort, and it does not seem to be contagious. The remedies are a simple lotion, and to remove the goats from the fruit; or, conversely, removing the fruits from the goats.

Source: Pikiwedia.calm

A Delicious Fruit

Ammonites are large, purple fruits found in Eastern Europe with inner flesh which is formed in sections which grow in a characteristic spiral pattern. Usually the flesh is mild and sweet. Picked too soon and it is bitter. Ammonites are used in preserves, jellies, juices and a local specialty, blue goats milk pudding.

Goats are fond of the fruit, and must be staked a good distance from ammonite trees to prevent their milk from taking on a strange, bluish hue.

Source: Pikiwedia.calm

A Nebula

Ammonites [Pron: am-on-night-ease] is an spiral nebula recently discovered in the sky in the neighborhood of Taurus by a middle school student. It is unremarkable.

Source: Pikiwedia.calm

A Delicacy

Ammonites are a delicious bun made with poppy seed flour and goats milk, baked in a spiral shape. They are refreshingly fragrant, said to leave one almost lighthearted with joy. Originating in Eastern Europe, their popularity is now world-wide. Set aside an entire day to make these delicacies.

Ammonites

Oven 350 degrees, 35 minutes

4 cups poppy seed flour
1 cup goats milk
2 eggs
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon yeast + 1/2 cup water 110 degrees
1/2 cup poppy seeds
1 stick goats milk butter

Mix yeast with water and let it develop. Stir together salt and flour. Stir together goats milk and eggs. Stir yeast mixture into egg mixture and gradually stir in flour, mixing with hands. Form a ball of dough and let it rise until doubled. Knead; the dough will emit a faint squeaking sound. Let rise for one hour. Punch it down and knead until the squeaking resolves into a low moan of resignation. Let rise for one hour. Take small handfuls of dough and roll into 8" lengths. Coil into a spiral shape on a baking sheet. Brush buns with goats milk butter, sprinkle with poppy seeds, and bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes or until brown. Enjoy.

Source: Pikiwedia.calm

An Ancient Civilization

Ammonites were an ancient tribe of people living about 700 to 200 B.C.E. centered in what is now known as Eastern Europe. They are believed to have been related to the Picts and the Chavelles. Building their huts from clay and reeds, they built their villages in the form of a spiral shape. Their main contribution to civilization was their advanced husbandry of goats. They came to care for goats more than they cared for humans. Eventually, they elevated the station of goats to the degree that goats were kept within the huts, and the Ammonites slept out of doors in tents.

As a people, they mysteriously disappeared around the time of the Common Era. Some anthropologists believe this was due to the onslaught of viral infections, exacerbated by prolonged exposure. Others believe they were assimilated into neighboring tribes, who took pity on them and brought them in from the cold.

It is not know what became of the goats.

Source: Pikiwedia.calm

An Egyptian God

Represented in hieroglyphs between the reigns of Vacumen X and Telefon VIII, Ammonites [pron: Ammo-Nighties] was an ancient Egyptian God of Turbulent Weather. He was usually depicted with the head and hooves of a goat, holding a long wooden spoon or paddle in his hands. Legend goes that whenever trouble was brewing in the world of men, Ammonites stirred up the atmosphere with his wooden spoon, causing the clouds to whirl in a vast counterclockwise motion.

It is remarkable that, from the ground, the ancient Egyptians were able to perceive the circular and spiral motions of the clouds in enormous weather systems and storms.

Source: Pikiwedia.calm