The Root, Part 1

During my last two jobs I earned almost more money than I could spend, at least at first. I became blind. If I wanted a book or CD or a doodad, I bought it. By the end I was eating meals out daily, sometimes more. And I was completely attached to a house that I did not own and may never own.

When I started my last job I felt I was making an agreement to work there by choice. I wasn't forced to do anything. This was necessary, due to a habitual emotional stance as a victim of life.
By the end I was so stressed out I had forgotten about choice, the economy had changed, and I felt trapped.

Earning so much, I did not focus enough on using it wisely. I was totally engrossed in making it through each day, due to the demands of the career. I lost sight of one important spiritual fact: although on this plane we are producing income by our own efforts, on the spiritual plane our income comes from God and belongs to God, that Unknowable Essence.

Think about this: although many people believe we got here by emerging spontaneously from nonbeing into being, like a mushroom, Baha'u'llah teaches that we were created. Spiritual beings housed for now in physical bodies on a material plane. Our purpose in being here is not merely to survive--we fail in that, ultimately. Nor is it to entertain ourselves.

Our purpose has something to do with growing and unfolding and opening up our true nature and developing the capacities latent within us, according to our capacity.

"Disappointed!"--Kevin Klein in a Fish Called Wanda

R.e. the phone call Thursday: I spent all day Friday trying to connect with this employer but she apparently was in meetings all day. I was disappointed.

Back to the coal mines Sunday [for internet-based job searches] and Monday.

Reading a very good book on emotions in all aspects: biology, energy, spirituality, etc. I think I'll become a Fear Warrior.

Gratitude

Update: [I hate to keep using "update" as a blog title, so I thought I'd put in something more uplifting.]

The top thing I've been learning since losing my job is how caring and supportive everyone in my family and circle of acquaintances is. I really should join the Human Race one of these days. ; >

Today I had to think about what you put for "Accomplishments" on a resume if you're a nurse. I clock in, get to work, work really hard, hurry to do my charting, and clock out. Resume: "Accomplishments: Most of my patients were still alive by the end of the day." Well, it made me laugh.

I've been spending a lot of time at WorkSource, which used to be named the Employment Security Office and nicknamed by some the "Unemployment Office." I've learned that there are a number of agencies all associated with the name "WorkSource"; that so far every staff member there has been friendly, caring, knowledgeable and just stellar. I've learned some rudiments of Word and PC's, and today learned more about cover letters and resumes and spent time beginning a revamped resume using a program on their PC's.

I realized it's a good idea to use a professional email for this type of thing such as a job search. Especially because much of my job search has been online and posting my resume has resulted in a virtual spam of things such as cosmetics at Macy's [I don't even use make up], mystery shopper, nursing jobs in Tennessee [no offense, but I don't live there.]

I made a friend named Timothy at WorkSource, just by being compassionate and friendly. Not that we exchanged info or anything, but it felt nice to be helpful.

I came home already in a good mood from learning and useful activity, turned on my cell phone to find a message from actually the first job I applied to, which was listed in the newspaper. So I'm elated just to hear from someone and will phone them in the morning. We'll see what happens.

Pilgrimage to the Mountain

Yesterday the National Parks entrance fees were waived for the Veterans Day holiday, so I decided it would be a great time to drive up to Mount Rainier. For years I used to have mountain dreams: each one was different, but the theme was climbing or ascending a mountain. Usually in the "graphics" part of the dream, there wasn't much to the mountain; I wasn't ascending the peak. More recently the dreams were more specifically of Mount Rainier, although still not realistic. I was never quite sure what the symbolism was--achievement or accomplishment, or some more mystical goal.

I decided to make a "pilgrimage" to Paradise, the highest spot on the Western aspect of the mountain that can be reached by driving. I wanted to say prayers, maybe take a hike or walk. I had a time deadline to be home so I could attend the Holy Day observance of the Birth of Baha'u'llah held on campus at the University of Puget Sound. From the south end of Tacoma it took from 1145 to 1400 or so to drive up there. The distance is not so far, but with the winding roads it takes longer. The weather was dry and mostly sunny, which made a terrific drive.

I took some photos after I passed the park entrance, of the mountain with the top shrouded in fog, and of some nice little waterfalls in the sunshine. The road became covered in spots with frozen slush and I dithered about continuing, but I had come so far, so I continued. Just short of Paradise I encountered a Cascade Fox in the road, looking at me with a "where's my treat?" expression. I discovered later it is a member of a family which hangs out and begs for handouts. It's unfortunate that this behavior is reinforced, but otherwise I probably wouldn't have seen it.

Paradise was spectacular in the snow. I stood and turned 360 degrees taking photos. Every needle on every branch on every conifer was coated in snow. Fog lent a mystical atmosphere to the area. Families and children were sledding, building snowmen and trading snowballs. Indoors I watched the educational movie, then in my car I read the Tablet of Ahmad before heading back as it started to snow, small round rapid flakes. I emerged refreshed. I think I drove about 154 miles round trip.

I still don't know the "meaning" of my mountain dreams, but I have a feeling they relate to the unfoldment of whatever I was meant to become. And it's nice to look at the Mountain, when it's visible, and remember when I had a clearer, closer view.

No Camel

I was just on Baha'i Views, which had a link to the promotion of a book called The People With No Camel, by Roya Movafegh. It is the true story of a young girl escaping from Iran with her family after the Revolution.

The title comes from the Muslim law of shariah that if a Muslim man is murdered, the family is to be compensated with the price of a hundred camels. If a Muslim woman is murdered, the price is fifty camels. If a Baha'i is murdered, "no camels apply."

When I have an income again, I am buying this book. http://thepeoplewithnocamel.wordpress.com.

Karmic Relief

Every day I'm feeling better, probably from the release of stress from my previous job. Today, among other things I accomplished, I prayed fervently and put my issues in the hands of God [about which I always have to laugh at myself, because my life is in God's hands anyway] and I bought a Sunday paper. This is the third week I have bought a Sunday paper, and nursing jobs in the last two editions have been minimal to nonexistent, but I enjoy the comics, so what the heck. I had the idea this morning of putting a sign in the back of my car, "RN For Hire", but I'm not sure about the unintended consequences.

I think the lack of newspaper listings is partially due to a lack of jobs and partly due to a change in technology. Everything is done online that used to be done in the newspaper. Maybe that explains why the Sunday edition is now up to $2.00. Well, I did find a possibly appropriate job, which I hope would not be a frying-pan-into-the-fire situation. The main thing is that it helped me become motivated to update my resume, which I am mailing tomorrow to this outfit. So that feels productive.

Suddenly I'm reading all these articles in the papers about my "social networking" presence online, and its relevance to a job search. The writers encourage people to have a positive "presence" online, and not look too bad. They mean Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc etc etc. Last time I tried to get onto Facebook it had me create a password, and then rejected it--over and over again. Just my karmic way of feeling rejected one more time, I guess. I keep meaning to try again. Anyway, for better or worse, potential employers will just have to get to know me without Chatter or Spacebook. Karmic relief.

I went to Farsi class this morning, which is really a children's class for Farsi-speaking children who are learning to read and write in Farsi script. I've been going since last spring. The class is held in Farsi, so following instructions is a challenge. I'm actually learning to read in Farsi. Whoa. Today I learned to spell the words "Allah" and "Hovallah", which are actually Arabic but used in Baha'i Writings and shared by Farsi, as well as being spelled in the Farsi alphabet.

Although I have been studying the alphabet for some time, I think what helped me start making the connections [pun intended: Farsi script is connected as in cursive writing] was the assignment of looking into a dictionary to find words beginning with each letter. At first I was rather resistive and sullen about it, but with practice it got easier. The last homework I did was to list numerals from one to one hundred, which have different symbols than Arabic numerals, together with the Englishified transliteration and the Farsi word for each number. I didn't actually learn each number, but I did write them. Twice. It just got to be so much fun after I got the hang of it.

It's because I don't watch TV. You have to get your fun where you can.

R.e. Wimmin Presidents

I hasten to clarify that the foregoing was merely satire. I have no opinion on female presidents as long as they know their place . . . doggone it! I just can't help it.

Reset:

Okay: men = women. Okay?