Spent the day on phone with one of my nursing friends, then a credit counselor I hooked up with while I was trying to check on my application for food stamps, so on and so forth, had to spend my planned time contacting possible employers a little later in the day than I would have liked.
Completed two online applications. Wasn't psyched up for a full-blown cover letter, resume cut-and-paste and application at first. Had just been snooping around, then, "hey, that looks good [or in one case, pretty marginal.]" Nerve-wracking to answer questions online, copy and paste resume, and so forth. Funny, that's how I used to feel about paper applications in the old, old days. I don't think I could have coped with the psychology of clicking the right button and filling in the right info RIGHT NOW online, back then. I can barely do it now.
So my friend in an email was talking about onomatopoeias, [oh, dear, still the red line of doom, thought we had sorted out how to spell that] and he asked for some onomatopoetry.
Onomatopoem:
A girl who went online
Thought her work search was going just fine
Till the message board crashed
And her resume dashed--
Now her outlook is less than divine.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Like a Bird On a Wire
I haven't connected again with the Health Services Director for Classy Skilled Nursing Facility. I may attempt tomorrow. Tomorrow I also plan to attend a seminar at WorkSource on older applicants.Walking the fine line between letting them know I'm still interested, and stalking. To me, stalking means I send a Holiday card more than once in five years.
Since early in the morning, I had an extreme degree of anxiety. My tasks were to apply for at least four jobs this week. I meant to do as many as possible today. I was able to complete an application and cover letter and send out with resume, to one facility. I also wrote a letter to a dear MD that used to work in the facility I just left. Last year I had asked if she could ever give a reference to me: today I wrote to let her know I'm listing her. My anxiety is debilitating.
I mailed the application etc, plus the letter to the MD and something else, at the Post Office. Then I came to DeCoursey Park and sat with my prayer book, praying and watching ducks and ducklings for an hour or two. Eventually I did start to recover from the anxiety, between the prayers, the sunshine and ducks, and the people passing who were friendly.
I called my landlord to inform him I am out of work. I had been dreading it, even though he is a very nice guy. I just hate having to negotiate when I can't meet my obligations. He wants 50% of rent. Could be a big problem, as I still have no income as I await a decision on my application for unemployment benefits. Tonight I also applied for food stamps and anything else I can qualify for, and contacted one of my references, who works at night. I was afraid to wake her up, but able to leave a voice mail.
I made daal soup for dinner, plus an ear of corn and some spinach, and watched a PBS show on how crows are so intelligent. They showed a study they did in Seattle on facial recognition in crows and how they can pass it on to other crows and even their offspring; the battle in Japan to keep crows from using wire coat hangars as a nesting material which can short out electrical wires and cause outages; using raptors in Canada to dispel a very large gathering of crows in their community.
I like crows, and the way they play, for example in a windstorm.
Since early in the morning, I had an extreme degree of anxiety. My tasks were to apply for at least four jobs this week. I meant to do as many as possible today. I was able to complete an application and cover letter and send out with resume, to one facility. I also wrote a letter to a dear MD that used to work in the facility I just left. Last year I had asked if she could ever give a reference to me: today I wrote to let her know I'm listing her. My anxiety is debilitating.
I mailed the application etc, plus the letter to the MD and something else, at the Post Office. Then I came to DeCoursey Park and sat with my prayer book, praying and watching ducks and ducklings for an hour or two. Eventually I did start to recover from the anxiety, between the prayers, the sunshine and ducks, and the people passing who were friendly.
I called my landlord to inform him I am out of work. I had been dreading it, even though he is a very nice guy. I just hate having to negotiate when I can't meet my obligations. He wants 50% of rent. Could be a big problem, as I still have no income as I await a decision on my application for unemployment benefits. Tonight I also applied for food stamps and anything else I can qualify for, and contacted one of my references, who works at night. I was afraid to wake her up, but able to leave a voice mail.
I made daal soup for dinner, plus an ear of corn and some spinach, and watched a PBS show on how crows are so intelligent. They showed a study they did in Seattle on facial recognition in crows and how they can pass it on to other crows and even their offspring; the battle in Japan to keep crows from using wire coat hangars as a nesting material which can short out electrical wires and cause outages; using raptors in Canada to dispel a very large gathering of crows in their community.
I like crows, and the way they play, for example in a windstorm.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Missed Connections
Monday I take WorkSource Modules all day; Tuesday and Wednesday I rest, basically; today [Thursday] I go to the WorkSource Job Club in the morning, sans breakfast, pick up produce at Cappy's, cook and eat, try to nap, and watch excellent movie "Winter's Bone."
I check my phone for messages just now at 11 PM and realize a voice mail was left for me by "Classy Skilled Nursing Facility" on Monday, requesting an interview, which somehow I missed until today. They are going to think I am an idiot.
Will keep readers updated.
I check my phone for messages just now at 11 PM and realize a voice mail was left for me by "Classy Skilled Nursing Facility" on Monday, requesting an interview, which somehow I missed until today. They are going to think I am an idiot.
Will keep readers updated.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Connections
Yesterday, Monday, I went to Modules 2 and 3 at the WorkSource office, on transferable Skills and Abilities, and Job Search Strategies. Since yesterday was a delightful, sunny day, with lots of sunshine following [and no doubt preceding] lots of rainy days, attendance was skimpy, so there were only one or two other participants. At one point I stood up to attempt a "60-Second Commercial" introducing myself and began talking about what I loved about Nursing: how I love to hear, "you are my favorite nurse"* and how I loved making a difference in people's lives . . . and had to stop because I choked up. And then the tears came. The instructor said, "I can't imagine why you want to leave this profession, when you feel this way!" I blurted out, "because they [bosses] treat us like machines, and I'm sick of it!"
It was good to make that heart connection again, and remember what fires me to want to help and connect with people. I have a lot to think about, as I try to transition into something psychologically and professionally safer. In the meantime, I mailed a neat application, a new resume and a cover letter to the Classy Skilled Nursing Facility on Friday. I'm always in this Catch 22 trap: I'm a f***-up in a challenging position which is classified as In Demand, so I'm continually under stress, continually failing in some way, but unable to draw an income any other way so I can change gears and turn the corner to get out. And there's little support from the State for making a transition, so I fall through the cracks.
*Even though the cynical part of me realizes that people are often being manipulative when they say I'm their favorite nurse, it still feels good to hear it.
I play "Yes, but" a lot when people say, "oh, you should try this" or "have you thought of that?" Part of feeling stuck is that I've pondered a lot of options, but always found some reasons, usually aspects of my brain wiring or personality, why they wouldn't work. This last two weeks I've heard a lot of suggestions for options I've already tried, such as home health.
I'm terrible at making connections, networking, collecting people for references. I'm so pitiful at the latter that my only two good solid references date back to two lovely nurses I worked with at Gentiva, and have such a hard time keeping track of them that I call them whenever I lose a job, just to make sure they're still alive and have the same phone number. I'm also not very enterprising, which limits what I can do with the arts in terms of supporting myself.
What has really amazed me lately is how that brazen little voice in my head is becoming more distinctive, coming out of the woodwork like the worms which crawl out of the soil when the hobbits are hiding from the Nazgul. That snide but effective little voice saying, "you're nothing, you're worthless, and you'll never do anything right."
It was good to make that heart connection again, and remember what fires me to want to help and connect with people. I have a lot to think about, as I try to transition into something psychologically and professionally safer. In the meantime, I mailed a neat application, a new resume and a cover letter to the Classy Skilled Nursing Facility on Friday. I'm always in this Catch 22 trap: I'm a f***-up in a challenging position which is classified as In Demand, so I'm continually under stress, continually failing in some way, but unable to draw an income any other way so I can change gears and turn the corner to get out. And there's little support from the State for making a transition, so I fall through the cracks.
*Even though the cynical part of me realizes that people are often being manipulative when they say I'm their favorite nurse, it still feels good to hear it.
I play "Yes, but" a lot when people say, "oh, you should try this" or "have you thought of that?" Part of feeling stuck is that I've pondered a lot of options, but always found some reasons, usually aspects of my brain wiring or personality, why they wouldn't work. This last two weeks I've heard a lot of suggestions for options I've already tried, such as home health.
I'm terrible at making connections, networking, collecting people for references. I'm so pitiful at the latter that my only two good solid references date back to two lovely nurses I worked with at Gentiva, and have such a hard time keeping track of them that I call them whenever I lose a job, just to make sure they're still alive and have the same phone number. I'm also not very enterprising, which limits what I can do with the arts in terms of supporting myself.
What has really amazed me lately is how that brazen little voice in my head is becoming more distinctive, coming out of the woodwork like the worms which crawl out of the soil when the hobbits are hiding from the Nazgul. That snide but effective little voice saying, "you're nothing, you're worthless, and you'll never do anything right."
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Tide Pools, Ducklings, and Smalls
Yesterday I drove to Tukwila and picked up a lady who wishes to move to Puyallup as a "homefront pioneer" but still lives in Whatcom County. We came back to Puyallup to find an apartment for her that qualifies for Section 8. We had a list of such, but we weren't sure if it was complete. Anyway, first we stopped for coffee [for her] and Rooibos tea for me and started to organize our search. Then we went to the Crossroads apartments and the very helpful person there spent at least 20 minutes looking online and phoning people to get a viable list of apartments that take Section 8. She may have saved us, not just hours, but days, as we would have driven to one complex and the next to find out merely which apts qualified. So blessings on her.
The first complex we checked seemed to have a barbeque going on nearby. Actually, my friend discovered that the beauty bark was burning behind the show apartment. There was a circle of ash in the midst of the bark, with smoke rising from it, and even an area impinging on the building. We weren't impressed with their response to the emergency, part of which consisted of kicking dirt, which was more beauty bark, onto the smoldering mess.
Anyway, we drove around all day, then back to Tukwila, and I got back at dusk. That was my Saturday.
Today I went to Titlow Park Beach and joined a "Tiptoe Through the Tidepools" nature walk. At first, looking at a great expanse of round, slippery and muddy rocks covered in seaweed, I wasn't very impressed. Then, tagging behind some families that knew their way around a little better, I saw some exciting things.
I saw red crabs from 4 to 8 inches across the shell, orange and purple sea stars, small 4" multi-armed sun stars, a limpet, a tiny juvenile red octopus, a small fish which resembled an eel but was called something else--didn't write down the name, and forgot--and a multitude of barnacles on every rock. I thought about making a small quilt on the theme, due to the multiple colors of sea life there. I also learned to identify three types of seaweed, and saw tiny shrimp, and lots of small humans. It was a great morning in the sunshine. After the walk, I took my book and a skimpy lunch and read in the sunshine at the park.
Driving home I passed DeCoursey Park in Puyallup and couldn't resist seeing if there were ducklings yet. I read some more in the sun and watched 3 or 4 families of ducks with ducklings swimming up and down the river. One had "junior youth" sized lings. And there were lots more small humans.
Came home and had some beet soup and toast, filed my weekly claim, and I'm preparing to wash some clothes.
And that's my Sunday.
The first complex we checked seemed to have a barbeque going on nearby. Actually, my friend discovered that the beauty bark was burning behind the show apartment. There was a circle of ash in the midst of the bark, with smoke rising from it, and even an area impinging on the building. We weren't impressed with their response to the emergency, part of which consisted of kicking dirt, which was more beauty bark, onto the smoldering mess.
Anyway, we drove around all day, then back to Tukwila, and I got back at dusk. That was my Saturday.
Today I went to Titlow Park Beach and joined a "Tiptoe Through the Tidepools" nature walk. At first, looking at a great expanse of round, slippery and muddy rocks covered in seaweed, I wasn't very impressed. Then, tagging behind some families that knew their way around a little better, I saw some exciting things.
I saw red crabs from 4 to 8 inches across the shell, orange and purple sea stars, small 4" multi-armed sun stars, a limpet, a tiny juvenile red octopus, a small fish which resembled an eel but was called something else--didn't write down the name, and forgot--and a multitude of barnacles on every rock. I thought about making a small quilt on the theme, due to the multiple colors of sea life there. I also learned to identify three types of seaweed, and saw tiny shrimp, and lots of small humans. It was a great morning in the sunshine. After the walk, I took my book and a skimpy lunch and read in the sunshine at the park.
Driving home I passed DeCoursey Park in Puyallup and couldn't resist seeing if there were ducklings yet. I read some more in the sun and watched 3 or 4 families of ducks with ducklings swimming up and down the river. One had "junior youth" sized lings. And there were lots more small humans.
Came home and had some beet soup and toast, filed my weekly claim, and I'm preparing to wash some clothes.
And that's my Sunday.
Friday, May 4, 2012
My First Week of Unemployment
Hello,
It's been a busy week. I got certain things done on Friday the 27th. On the 28th I went to Feast in the evening in Pierce County. On Sunday the 29th I went for a walk with friends at Clark Creek Park, where I struggled to keep up, as exercising has taken last place on my schedule while I was working full time, but it was a pleasant journey. We stopped to say prayers in the woods, with sun peeping through the trees, and the sounds of the creek and the birdsong. In the evening I went to a Holy Day potluck in Northeast Tacoma which was wonderful. I was excited as I found a new route from Puyallup through Fife to NE Tacoma which is very simple and saves a lot of time.
Monday I researched lawyers on the internet, going from the online yellow pages, for two hours. I contacted one firm through their form, which focuses solely on employment law from the point of view of the employee, not the employer [there were plenty of those.] They must have discerned there was no money in the case, as I never heard from them. I went to Feast at Tacoma, which was also wonderful. I ate a lot of unhealthy but very delicious food. I missed so many Feasts and Holy Days while I was working full time evenings, that I had a lot to "make up."
Tuesday I finally filed for unemployment online, printed out the application for a skilled nursing facility in the north end of Tacoma which is a very classy place, meaning I either will fit in very well, or I won't. I had my final meeting with the Human Resources Director and the Executive Director at my old job, which was at least civil, even though we failed to really come to an agreement about what I should have done during the episode which cost me my job. They did say that they will not release any information to other companies about the circumstances. [So it is up to me and my conscience to report to prospective employers the circumstances of my termination, when they ask.]
Wednesday, May 2 was very busy. I was up very early [for a person working until now on the evening shift] and attended an orientation to WorkSource, what used to be known as the Employment Agency. I came home for lunch, returned and went to a very useful workshop on interviewing skills and techniques, which was very encouraging. I then drove out to a Holy Day celebration in Northeast Tacoma, an hour and fifteen minutes late, but I was welcomed anyway. That was enjoyable, but I wasn't catching up on my sleep.
Thursday I slept in somewhat, went to the Library and returned a DVD which I had waited for months for, but now don't have the time or interest to watch . . . seems like a pity. I'm reading a lot of books by Michael Connelly, enjoying them a lot. Then I attended another seminar on writing resumes and cover letters, which I thought was very useful.
This morning I printed out again the application for the skilled nursing facility I mentioned before. I'd had the impression that they had an online version, so I had used the app. for a "dummy", filling it out as a reference for applying online. Today I realized it is necessary to mail in the app, so I filled out a nice copy, wrote a new resume, and wrote a specific cover letter to the company, signed and delivered to the Post Office to go out on the last pick up.
In the meantime, I heard from a Baha'i who wishes to move to Puyallup, and is staying for a few days in Tukwila. Tomorrow we arranged for me to drive up and bring her to Puyallup to hunt for apartments or whatever. I just printed out three different ways to get there from here, so I can think about which way will be simplest.
After mailing off my application, I went back to Clark Creek park for another walk. The sun again was peeking through the trees, making it a beautiful walk. I decided to bring a walking stick next time, in case I slip in the mud or on a root, or trip or step on a moving piece of gravel. Since I'm not as fit as I used to be, and less adept, also my eyesight is more difficult with progressive lenses, I realized I need to take more precautions. Sad to be aging, and no, it doesn't beat the alternative. But I have lots to do, yet.
I need to cook tonight. Possibly some beet soup, which will last awhile.
Sunday I will file my weekly claim with my job search record [even though I am sure it will be rejected, I have to try], and I'm thinking of taking the family Nature Walk at Titlow Park. Monday, another seminar at WorkSource on skills and job search techniques. I was informed that this particular seminar is good for figuring out how to transfer skills to some other type of job, if possible.
I continue to appreciate the encouragement I receive from everyone.
It's been a busy week. I got certain things done on Friday the 27th. On the 28th I went to Feast in the evening in Pierce County. On Sunday the 29th I went for a walk with friends at Clark Creek Park, where I struggled to keep up, as exercising has taken last place on my schedule while I was working full time, but it was a pleasant journey. We stopped to say prayers in the woods, with sun peeping through the trees, and the sounds of the creek and the birdsong. In the evening I went to a Holy Day potluck in Northeast Tacoma which was wonderful. I was excited as I found a new route from Puyallup through Fife to NE Tacoma which is very simple and saves a lot of time.
Monday I researched lawyers on the internet, going from the online yellow pages, for two hours. I contacted one firm through their form, which focuses solely on employment law from the point of view of the employee, not the employer [there were plenty of those.] They must have discerned there was no money in the case, as I never heard from them. I went to Feast at Tacoma, which was also wonderful. I ate a lot of unhealthy but very delicious food. I missed so many Feasts and Holy Days while I was working full time evenings, that I had a lot to "make up."
Tuesday I finally filed for unemployment online, printed out the application for a skilled nursing facility in the north end of Tacoma which is a very classy place, meaning I either will fit in very well, or I won't. I had my final meeting with the Human Resources Director and the Executive Director at my old job, which was at least civil, even though we failed to really come to an agreement about what I should have done during the episode which cost me my job. They did say that they will not release any information to other companies about the circumstances. [So it is up to me and my conscience to report to prospective employers the circumstances of my termination, when they ask.]
Wednesday, May 2 was very busy. I was up very early [for a person working until now on the evening shift] and attended an orientation to WorkSource, what used to be known as the Employment Agency. I came home for lunch, returned and went to a very useful workshop on interviewing skills and techniques, which was very encouraging. I then drove out to a Holy Day celebration in Northeast Tacoma, an hour and fifteen minutes late, but I was welcomed anyway. That was enjoyable, but I wasn't catching up on my sleep.
Thursday I slept in somewhat, went to the Library and returned a DVD which I had waited for months for, but now don't have the time or interest to watch . . . seems like a pity. I'm reading a lot of books by Michael Connelly, enjoying them a lot. Then I attended another seminar on writing resumes and cover letters, which I thought was very useful.
This morning I printed out again the application for the skilled nursing facility I mentioned before. I'd had the impression that they had an online version, so I had used the app. for a "dummy", filling it out as a reference for applying online. Today I realized it is necessary to mail in the app, so I filled out a nice copy, wrote a new resume, and wrote a specific cover letter to the company, signed and delivered to the Post Office to go out on the last pick up.
In the meantime, I heard from a Baha'i who wishes to move to Puyallup, and is staying for a few days in Tukwila. Tomorrow we arranged for me to drive up and bring her to Puyallup to hunt for apartments or whatever. I just printed out three different ways to get there from here, so I can think about which way will be simplest.
After mailing off my application, I went back to Clark Creek park for another walk. The sun again was peeking through the trees, making it a beautiful walk. I decided to bring a walking stick next time, in case I slip in the mud or on a root, or trip or step on a moving piece of gravel. Since I'm not as fit as I used to be, and less adept, also my eyesight is more difficult with progressive lenses, I realized I need to take more precautions. Sad to be aging, and no, it doesn't beat the alternative. But I have lots to do, yet.
I need to cook tonight. Possibly some beet soup, which will last awhile.
Sunday I will file my weekly claim with my job search record [even though I am sure it will be rejected, I have to try], and I'm thinking of taking the family Nature Walk at Titlow Park. Monday, another seminar at WorkSource on skills and job search techniques. I was informed that this particular seminar is good for figuring out how to transfer skills to some other type of job, if possible.
I continue to appreciate the encouragement I receive from everyone.
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