I have more or less decided to enroll in therapy to more effectively deal with my compulsive eating. Last year when I made a pilgrimage to Mount Carmel in Haifa, Israel, and prayed in the Baha'i Shrines, one of the issues I brought up in my prayers was to finally identify the best, truest, healthiest diet. Well, I found the whole foods, plant-based way of eating, proven by solid scientific research, and it was like a tremendous stroke of lightning, lighting my way. The spark of truth, at last.
Even though I am clear about what foods to eat; even though I feel 100% better when eating a whole foods plant based diet; even though I feel committed to practicing this and have taken a powerful and informative online course on nutrition from Cornell University which has answered a lot of questions; and even though I have converted to home-cooking most of my meals and learned and created dozens of satisfying and delicious meals, I still have difficulty with compulsive eating under certain conditions. Like the child said to the ice cream cone, God willing I will lick this.
Showing posts with label Pilgrimage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pilgrimage. Show all posts
Friday, December 18, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Fire and Vengeance, Light and Mercy, Part Three
Baha'u'llah teaches that tests and difficulties are a gift from God, designed to further our spiritual growth in a most efficient manner, and to teach us what we most need and desire to learn as fundamentally spiritual beings. It takes a lot of trust to believe that we will be taken care of, even as the maelstrom of tests swirl around us.
Baha'u'llah, as the Founder of a new Faith in the 1800's in Iran, was not a popular figure with either the Shah of Iran or with the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire. Between them, with encouragement from many enemies of the Faith, they conspired to imprison Baha'u'llah and exile Him and His family from Tehran, to Baghdad, to Adrianople [Edirne] and to Akka, near Haifa, Palestine. This treatment engendered an enormous amount of suffering over a forty-year period.
At one time Baha'u'llah revealed a long and intense prayer named the "Fire Tablet." There are multiple layers of meaning, inner and outer meanings, in everything Baha'u'llah reveals. He writes,
"In the Name of God, the Most Ancient, the Most Great.
"Indeed the hearts of the sincere are consumed in the fire of separation: Where is the gleaming of the light of Thy Countenance, O Beloved of the worlds? . . . Where is the shining of the Morn of Thy reunion, O Desire of the Worlds?" *
After a long and beautiful series of verses, God answers Baha'u'llah:
"Were it not for the cold, how would the heat of Thy words prevail, O Expounder of the worlds?"
"Were it not for calamity, how would the sun of Thy patience shine, O Light of the worlds?" . . .
"by Thy banishment the land of Unity was adorned. Be patient, O Thou Exile of the worlds." *
Then Baha'u'llah responds:
"When the swords flash, go forward! When the shafts fly, press onward! O Thou Sacrifice of the Worlds." * and,
"Verily I have heard Thy Call, O All-Glorious Beloved; and now is the face of Baha flaming with the heat of tribulation and with the fire of Thy shining word, and He hath risen up in faithfulness . . ." *
And we wonder if we are loved! But this is what we must do: rise up in the midst of our difficulties, and turn to God.
*All quotes copyright by the Baha'i Publishing Trust.
Baha'u'llah, as the Founder of a new Faith in the 1800's in Iran, was not a popular figure with either the Shah of Iran or with the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire. Between them, with encouragement from many enemies of the Faith, they conspired to imprison Baha'u'llah and exile Him and His family from Tehran, to Baghdad, to Adrianople [Edirne] and to Akka, near Haifa, Palestine. This treatment engendered an enormous amount of suffering over a forty-year period.
At one time Baha'u'llah revealed a long and intense prayer named the "Fire Tablet." There are multiple layers of meaning, inner and outer meanings, in everything Baha'u'llah reveals. He writes,
"In the Name of God, the Most Ancient, the Most Great.
"Indeed the hearts of the sincere are consumed in the fire of separation: Where is the gleaming of the light of Thy Countenance, O Beloved of the worlds? . . . Where is the shining of the Morn of Thy reunion, O Desire of the Worlds?" *
After a long and beautiful series of verses, God answers Baha'u'llah:
"Were it not for the cold, how would the heat of Thy words prevail, O Expounder of the worlds?"
"Were it not for calamity, how would the sun of Thy patience shine, O Light of the worlds?" . . .
"by Thy banishment the land of Unity was adorned. Be patient, O Thou Exile of the worlds." *
Then Baha'u'llah responds:
"When the swords flash, go forward! When the shafts fly, press onward! O Thou Sacrifice of the Worlds." * and,
"Verily I have heard Thy Call, O All-Glorious Beloved; and now is the face of Baha flaming with the heat of tribulation and with the fire of Thy shining word, and He hath risen up in faithfulness . . ." *
And we wonder if we are loved! But this is what we must do: rise up in the midst of our difficulties, and turn to God.
*All quotes copyright by the Baha'i Publishing Trust.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Tatting, Teaching, and Light-filled Beings
We arrived at our friends George and Bonita's front porch at 7 PM sharp for the Thursday evening Devotional Meeting, even having taken a few minutes to drive around Robin Hood's Barn finding a gas station so I wouldn't have to gas up later in the dark. No George or Bonita, no van with the colorful wildlife stickers. Since I had neglected to call first, I wasn't disturbed. We agreed to eat dinner at one of our favorite dives, "Greek To Me" near Wright Park, which Enayat always translates into "Greek In Us", and stop by later.
Watching the exquisite sunset out the glass door and windows, and halfway through a Greek Garden pizza, I realized that since George phoned me on Sunday, I had his number on my phone. It turns out Baha'i Feast was tonight, in Tacoma, anyway. Out in Spanaway Feast was last night, when I was working, so I figured I had missed it.
Having blessed George and Bonita on their upcoming Pilgrimage, Enayat having finished the pizza and now heavily engaged in the heavenly green beans, I pulled out my tatting. There was another diner nearby, a lone woman, one of these people who seems light-filled. She asked about the tatting [and knew what it was] and we had a lovely conversation about her teaching work in this region, her having lived in Scotland, Turkey, and Greece, and her planting an organic garden in front of her house to help feed her neighbors. We talked about Iran, Sobhani Meditation, and mentioned the Baha'i Faith, though not in detail. We have her contact information, and a place to start to build a new friendship.
I guess that's where we were meant to be tonight.
Watching the exquisite sunset out the glass door and windows, and halfway through a Greek Garden pizza, I realized that since George phoned me on Sunday, I had his number on my phone. It turns out Baha'i Feast was tonight, in Tacoma, anyway. Out in Spanaway Feast was last night, when I was working, so I figured I had missed it.
Having blessed George and Bonita on their upcoming Pilgrimage, Enayat having finished the pizza and now heavily engaged in the heavenly green beans, I pulled out my tatting. There was another diner nearby, a lone woman, one of these people who seems light-filled. She asked about the tatting [and knew what it was] and we had a lovely conversation about her teaching work in this region, her having lived in Scotland, Turkey, and Greece, and her planting an organic garden in front of her house to help feed her neighbors. We talked about Iran, Sobhani Meditation, and mentioned the Baha'i Faith, though not in detail. We have her contact information, and a place to start to build a new friendship.
I guess that's where we were meant to be tonight.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The Mountain of the Lord
Our dear friend Tony, who is very skilled and diligent in construction arts and does a lot of work for my husband on his properties, stopped by last evening. Enayat pulled out our photos from Pilgrimage to show him. Tony is a Seventh Day Adventist. Last year, when we mentioned that the World Center of the Baha'i Faith is on Mount Carmel [in my view, the Mountain of the Lord], Tony threw back his head with a hearty laugh, speaking about how Mount Carmel had been the site of idol worship and how Jehovah had had a contest with the god Baal in fire-starting, on Mount Carmel. The other day I thought about this and wanted to say, "Yeah, but Jehovah won."
Anyway, Tony was very impressed with the photos, thought the Shrine of the Bab and the terraces and Bahji were very beautiful. He was also interested, naturally, in Nazareth and Jerusalem. I was grateful I had taken some time to pull out my share of the photo copies before they were handed around and shuffled. I plan to put together an album illustrating the sites we visited in a historical and scriptural context. I hope, not too ambitious. Something to pray about.
Come on up, let us go up, come on up to the Mountain of the Lord . . .
Anyway, Tony was very impressed with the photos, thought the Shrine of the Bab and the terraces and Bahji were very beautiful. He was also interested, naturally, in Nazareth and Jerusalem. I was grateful I had taken some time to pull out my share of the photo copies before they were handed around and shuffled. I plan to put together an album illustrating the sites we visited in a historical and scriptural context. I hope, not too ambitious. Something to pray about.
Come on up, let us go up, come on up to the Mountain of the Lord . . .
Thursday, February 26, 2009
My Inner Crank
We went to a prayer service last week in northeast Tacoma for the Baha'is who have been arrested last year in Iran for supposed espionage, etc., and may be coming up for trial soon. This was held at the home of an Iranian couple and they had gone door to door in their neighborhood to invite people to come and pray. There was beautiful music and chanting, and I was touched by the fervency of the Christian prayers. As a Baha'i who has multiple prayer books full of revealed prayers available, I am always amazed at Christian prayers. They just open their mouths and make it up! In front of everyone. You'd almost have to set me on fire before I could do that. The unity was wonderful. My husband stayed for an hour after everyone else left, fitting in extra rice and tea, and chatting in Farsi with Bahereh's parents. He misses Iran very much.
I'm struggling with my character traits. Honesty is supposed to be a very good thing, but it needs to be balanced with kindness. I seem to be becoming increasingly direct as I age and become more confident. I seem to be channeling my inner crank. I also thank my father, Lewis Elwood, for my crank genes. He didn't pull too many punches. On the other hand, at his memorial service, I was impressed by the remarks from friends and neighbors who knew him well: most said that, with Lewis, what you see is what you get. Very upright, straight. I've been thinking about his mother, Bo Leta Elwood, who taught me to tat. She could also be very sharp.
But what I'm hearing come out of my mouth lately disappoints me. I seem to have little patience for people craving compassion, because it comes out as desiring confirmation for their self-pity. We aren't taught to just say, "help! I need caring and compassion!" Instead, we learn to try to wrangle it out of people with our victim stories. I need to learn to give people compassion when they need it, even when I don't appreciate their way of trying to get it without actually asking.
I've been feeling low energy, doing a lot of admissions at work, and today have a sore throat and fever. I reread Roger Reini's Pilgrimage story and kept bawling as I recognized the sites and events during Pilgrimage which I miss so much. I miss Haifa and Akka and the Shrines and the Mansion of Mazraih and the fragrant grapefruit at the Bahji Visitor's Center. And the fellowship of the pilgrims, and so many other things. I'm having Pilgrimage withdrawal.
Roger, your cat with the half-missing ear is still there, hanging around the PRC. It probably enjoys the Pilgrim vibes, as well as the attention.
I'm struggling with my character traits. Honesty is supposed to be a very good thing, but it needs to be balanced with kindness. I seem to be becoming increasingly direct as I age and become more confident. I seem to be channeling my inner crank. I also thank my father, Lewis Elwood, for my crank genes. He didn't pull too many punches. On the other hand, at his memorial service, I was impressed by the remarks from friends and neighbors who knew him well: most said that, with Lewis, what you see is what you get. Very upright, straight. I've been thinking about his mother, Bo Leta Elwood, who taught me to tat. She could also be very sharp.
But what I'm hearing come out of my mouth lately disappoints me. I seem to have little patience for people craving compassion, because it comes out as desiring confirmation for their self-pity. We aren't taught to just say, "help! I need caring and compassion!" Instead, we learn to try to wrangle it out of people with our victim stories. I need to learn to give people compassion when they need it, even when I don't appreciate their way of trying to get it without actually asking.
I've been feeling low energy, doing a lot of admissions at work, and today have a sore throat and fever. I reread Roger Reini's Pilgrimage story and kept bawling as I recognized the sites and events during Pilgrimage which I miss so much. I miss Haifa and Akka and the Shrines and the Mansion of Mazraih and the fragrant grapefruit at the Bahji Visitor's Center. And the fellowship of the pilgrims, and so many other things. I'm having Pilgrimage withdrawal.
Roger, your cat with the half-missing ear is still there, hanging around the PRC. It probably enjoys the Pilgrim vibes, as well as the attention.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Pilrimage Day #9, February 10, 2009 Part 2
2-10-9 Tuesday
The rest of the day was taken with packing up, checking our bags into locked storage at the Nof, and going to the PRC. It was a wet day with thunderstorms and pouring rain. Enayat walked down to Abbas Street in the floods, to find a Western Union, which was closed an account of the national election in Israel. He bought me a beautiful green glass pendant with the Baha'i symbol in gold inside it; he discouraged me from putting it on and I put it into my bag. It was lost on the trip home and I never saw it again, one more sorrow.
With our friends the Haghighi's and the Warrens we arranged a sherut to the airport from the Nof at midnight. Our flight was not until 8 AM but I could not imagine both of us waking in time at 3 AM. All our extra fruit I put out in bowls in the PRC where I hoped that it would be used by people staying the next day.
I visited the Shrines on my own for the last time, as Enayat was wading around getting lost on Abbas Street. It rained on and off. He was soggy the rest of the night. I used the lime from the grounds at Mazraih Mansion in our tea. Mrs. Banks from the Cayman Islands came up to me and announced to everyone that it was both of our birthdays and sang happy birthday. I hadn't mentioned it to anyone.
The rest of the day was taken with packing up, checking our bags into locked storage at the Nof, and going to the PRC. It was a wet day with thunderstorms and pouring rain. Enayat walked down to Abbas Street in the floods, to find a Western Union, which was closed an account of the national election in Israel. He bought me a beautiful green glass pendant with the Baha'i symbol in gold inside it; he discouraged me from putting it on and I put it into my bag. It was lost on the trip home and I never saw it again, one more sorrow.
With our friends the Haghighi's and the Warrens we arranged a sherut to the airport from the Nof at midnight. Our flight was not until 8 AM but I could not imagine both of us waking in time at 3 AM. All our extra fruit I put out in bowls in the PRC where I hoped that it would be used by people staying the next day.
I visited the Shrines on my own for the last time, as Enayat was wading around getting lost on Abbas Street. It rained on and off. He was soggy the rest of the night. I used the lime from the grounds at Mazraih Mansion in our tea. Mrs. Banks from the Cayman Islands came up to me and announced to everyone that it was both of our birthdays and sang happy birthday. I hadn't mentioned it to anyone.
Pilrimage Day #8 February 9, 2009, Part 2
2-2-9 Monday 1450 Pilgrim House
We borrowed key for the Monument Gardens [Tip # 5: look for black box on wall to the right of the gate and swipe the key across the box.] We found a miniature orange on the ground by the monument for the Greatest Holy Leaf and obtained it without leaving the path. Later we crossed Hazionut to the gate and visited the Pilgrim House. I ate the orange, carefully saving the peel and five seeds. It was as sour as a lemon. The floor of the Pilgrim House is also paved with red tiles.
I've been contemplating how tatting [my home made lace] could be used in constructing bookmarks, also edging scarves.
2130 Monday Nof Hotel
Enayat returned to the camera shop while I stayed and prayed in the Shrines. I ate dinner in the PRC. I took out pita bread and warmed it up, warming up the foil-wrapped cream cheese on my skin, then opened it and spread it on the pita bread, whereupon it melted and turned into butter. So I cut up some cabbage, put it into a ceramic cup with water and steamed it in the microwave and ate pita pockets with butter and steamed cabbage. Then Emily took pity on me and gave me some hummus, which they are heartily sick of.
Tatting some more. It's addictive. I called Enayat in our hotel room to see if he would come to the evening program. He said he would come, but did not. I slept through the talk, an energetic exhortation to do more for the Faith, teach more, etc, and rode home in a sherut with people I didn't know well.
We borrowed key for the Monument Gardens [Tip # 5: look for black box on wall to the right of the gate and swipe the key across the box.] We found a miniature orange on the ground by the monument for the Greatest Holy Leaf and obtained it without leaving the path. Later we crossed Hazionut to the gate and visited the Pilgrim House. I ate the orange, carefully saving the peel and five seeds. It was as sour as a lemon. The floor of the Pilgrim House is also paved with red tiles.
I've been contemplating how tatting [my home made lace] could be used in constructing bookmarks, also edging scarves.
2130 Monday Nof Hotel
Enayat returned to the camera shop while I stayed and prayed in the Shrines. I ate dinner in the PRC. I took out pita bread and warmed it up, warming up the foil-wrapped cream cheese on my skin, then opened it and spread it on the pita bread, whereupon it melted and turned into butter. So I cut up some cabbage, put it into a ceramic cup with water and steamed it in the microwave and ate pita pockets with butter and steamed cabbage. Then Emily took pity on me and gave me some hummus, which they are heartily sick of.
Tatting some more. It's addictive. I called Enayat in our hotel room to see if he would come to the evening program. He said he would come, but did not. I slept through the talk, an energetic exhortation to do more for the Faith, teach more, etc, and rode home in a sherut with people I didn't know well.
Pilrimage Day #8 February 9, 2009, Part 1
2-9-9 Monday, 1225 PRC
We were to meet at 0900 at the International Teaching Center. Enayat needed to have film developed and to buy more cameras. It took extra walking to find cameras. Then we took the Carmelit Subway down from Carmel Center, aiming for Golomb Street. When I pushed the button to open the door, nothing happened, other than the train sliding away to the next station. We had to exit and return by the next train. Then the walk down Golomb Street, cross with no crosswalk, and arrive at last.
We toured the International Teaching Center, the Seat of the Universal House of Justice. On the prism installed by the architect is the writing [in Farsi or Arabic] ending in, "I am the Royal Falcon on the arm of the Almighty. I unfold the drooping wings of every broken bird and start it on its flight." Having put this to music several years ago, I was hoping I could eventually share this. Upstairs we see, not the Tree Beyond Which there is No Passing, but the doorway to the foyer outside the chamber where the members of the Universal House of Justice meet. The ceiling light was lit, indicating the House of Justice was in session. I was in thrall.
The Information Center had a beautiful display, with a replica of a rifle of the type used against the Bab when He was martyred--two times. The entire informational display is exquisitely done.
We were to meet at 0900 at the International Teaching Center. Enayat needed to have film developed and to buy more cameras. It took extra walking to find cameras. Then we took the Carmelit Subway down from Carmel Center, aiming for Golomb Street. When I pushed the button to open the door, nothing happened, other than the train sliding away to the next station. We had to exit and return by the next train. Then the walk down Golomb Street, cross with no crosswalk, and arrive at last.
We toured the International Teaching Center, the Seat of the Universal House of Justice. On the prism installed by the architect is the writing [in Farsi or Arabic] ending in, "I am the Royal Falcon on the arm of the Almighty. I unfold the drooping wings of every broken bird and start it on its flight." Having put this to music several years ago, I was hoping I could eventually share this. Upstairs we see, not the Tree Beyond Which there is No Passing, but the doorway to the foyer outside the chamber where the members of the Universal House of Justice meet. The ceiling light was lit, indicating the House of Justice was in session. I was in thrall.
The Information Center had a beautiful display, with a replica of a rifle of the type used against the Bab when He was martyred--two times. The entire informational display is exquisitely done.
Pilrimage Day #7 February 8, 2009, Part 3
2-8-9 1255 Sunday, PRC
Bus to 'Akka, passed the Rabin Peace Park where we spent time the other day, went to the House of Abdullah Pasha. Upstairs, brilliant chanting by Enayat, and Hollow Reed sung by our friend Inge, our pair of nightingales. Rather than spoil the palette with my voice, I refrained from singing.
Upstairs, in the dining area, though the floor is covered in rugs, the floor is paved in red, square tiles 8-10" square.
At about age 18 as a new Baha'i, I had a dream that I was walking across a courtyard. On my right was walking 'Abdu'l-Baha; we were walking together and he was holding my hand. I was immersed in an intense feeling of unconditional love. I awoke sobbing with the joy and intensity of it. The floor or ground of the courtyard in this dream was paved with these same red tiles, in the house of Abdullah Pasha.
We visited the room of the Greatest Holy Leaf [the sister of 'Abdu'l-Baha], where the Remains of the Bab had been secreted many years prior to His interment. Prayers were read in Chinese, German, other languages. I read the prayer for steadfastness in the Covenant which begins, "O Compassionate God." The evening I announced I wish to enroll as a Baha'i, I was requested to read a prayer; leafing through the prayer book, I chose that prayer, liking the "compassionate" element. It was the Day of the Covenant, 1974.
In the PRC I am reflecting about the Miracle of the Loaves and Fishes, as there is considerable sharing of food. Most people like to refer to this as the "multiplication." While I believe that the Holy Spirit is capable of suspending or circumventing the laws of physics as we know them, I perfer this: it was a division of loaves and fishes. Through the spirit of love and fellowship engendered by listening to His Holiness Jesus Christ, people shared the little they had with others, and were satisfied with little, and probably Christ did add some extra. It was the spirit that was the miracle.
Bus to 'Akka, passed the Rabin Peace Park where we spent time the other day, went to the House of Abdullah Pasha. Upstairs, brilliant chanting by Enayat, and Hollow Reed sung by our friend Inge, our pair of nightingales. Rather than spoil the palette with my voice, I refrained from singing.
Upstairs, in the dining area, though the floor is covered in rugs, the floor is paved in red, square tiles 8-10" square.
At about age 18 as a new Baha'i, I had a dream that I was walking across a courtyard. On my right was walking 'Abdu'l-Baha; we were walking together and he was holding my hand. I was immersed in an intense feeling of unconditional love. I awoke sobbing with the joy and intensity of it. The floor or ground of the courtyard in this dream was paved with these same red tiles, in the house of Abdullah Pasha.
We visited the room of the Greatest Holy Leaf [the sister of 'Abdu'l-Baha], where the Remains of the Bab had been secreted many years prior to His interment. Prayers were read in Chinese, German, other languages. I read the prayer for steadfastness in the Covenant which begins, "O Compassionate God." The evening I announced I wish to enroll as a Baha'i, I was requested to read a prayer; leafing through the prayer book, I chose that prayer, liking the "compassionate" element. It was the Day of the Covenant, 1974.
In the PRC I am reflecting about the Miracle of the Loaves and Fishes, as there is considerable sharing of food. Most people like to refer to this as the "multiplication." While I believe that the Holy Spirit is capable of suspending or circumventing the laws of physics as we know them, I perfer this: it was a division of loaves and fishes. Through the spirit of love and fellowship engendered by listening to His Holiness Jesus Christ, people shared the little they had with others, and were satisfied with little, and probably Christ did add some extra. It was the spirit that was the miracle.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Pilrimage Day #7 February 8, 2009, Part 2
Lately I had been speculating that the features of the Blessed Beauty, Baha'u'llah, might resemble photos of the Master, or of the Greatest Holy Leaf, or of His father. He only resembled Himself.
I don't know how much I should write. We all did a lot of kneeling and crawling to see [especially with progressive lenses.]
"Say: Naught is seen in My temple but the Temple of God, and in My beauty, but His Beauty, and in My being but His Being, and in My self but His Self, and in My movement but His Movement, and in My acquiescence but His Acquiescence, and in My pen but His Pen, the Mighty, the All-Praised. There hath not been in My soul but the Truth, and Myself naught could be seen but God. "~~Baha'u'llah
Very well. To my immense surprise and delight, I recognized in the photograph of the visage of the Blessed Beauty, taken in Adrianople:
Not merely physical features, although serious and weary, but a warm, strong, magnetic personality. I could sense the commanding presence and the spark of humor, the authority, and I was very attracted to this presence. I thought there was even a chance I might have caught a glimpse of His Station, had I seen the Blessed Beauty in Person. Praise God, what a delight. Idid not want to leave His Portrait and I would never have wished to be separated from His presence.
Joy!
We also saw an outer, camel-hair coat of the Blessed Beauty, with piping along the outer sleeves and trim at the neck; a very small and neatly mended spot on the upper right shoulder.
The coat of the Bab, green and more form-fitting, slender, with fine detailing.
The cotton aba of the Master, machine sewn tan cotton, one of many he gave away. I could see the variations in "tension" in the machine stitches.
A one-foot square by about 4 inch deep stone from the floor of the Siyyah-Chal, porous and rough limestone. A sword of Mulla Husayn.
I don't know how much I should write. We all did a lot of kneeling and crawling to see [especially with progressive lenses.]
"Say: Naught is seen in My temple but the Temple of God, and in My beauty, but His Beauty, and in My being but His Being, and in My self but His Self, and in My movement but His Movement, and in My acquiescence but His Acquiescence, and in My pen but His Pen, the Mighty, the All-Praised. There hath not been in My soul but the Truth, and Myself naught could be seen but God. "~~Baha'u'llah
Very well. To my immense surprise and delight, I recognized in the photograph of the visage of the Blessed Beauty, taken in Adrianople:
Not merely physical features, although serious and weary, but a warm, strong, magnetic personality. I could sense the commanding presence and the spark of humor, the authority, and I was very attracted to this presence. I thought there was even a chance I might have caught a glimpse of His Station, had I seen the Blessed Beauty in Person. Praise God, what a delight. Idid not want to leave His Portrait and I would never have wished to be separated from His presence.
Joy!
We also saw an outer, camel-hair coat of the Blessed Beauty, with piping along the outer sleeves and trim at the neck; a very small and neatly mended spot on the upper right shoulder.
The coat of the Bab, green and more form-fitting, slender, with fine detailing.
The cotton aba of the Master, machine sewn tan cotton, one of many he gave away. I could see the variations in "tension" in the machine stitches.
A one-foot square by about 4 inch deep stone from the floor of the Siyyah-Chal, porous and rough limestone. A sword of Mulla Husayn.
Pilrimage Day #7 February 8, 2009 Part 1
2-8-9 Sunday 0955 PRC
Slept deeply but could have slept longer. Archives visit: we were to meet at the Golomb gate but I took a taxi to Shifra, thinking the driver would not know "Golomb gate." It took considerable walking and uncertainty to find the Hillel stairs, some puffing to ascend them, a false approach of a school with a security officer, then turned around and saw the Seat of the Universal House of Justice and ascended the last stairs and up to the gate.
We assembled and met a different guide, rode the elevator to the Seat of UHJ banquet hall. The guide said we could recite a prayer if we chose, after doffing our shoes. I said, "That would be nice," so she nodded at me and I recited the Unity prayer. Left baggage behind.
I thought viewing "the portrait," i.e. the photograph of Baha'u'llah, which we have looked forward to so long, would be a hurried glimpse and a shuffle past, so I was surprised.
In the fall of 1974 when I first investigated the Baha'i Faith, I tried to picture the Bab in my mind but instead, forever and indelibly, all I could see in my mind was the face of one of the Baha'is I knew at that time, a very serene and dignified student who I also knew as a folkdancer, Dan W. The drawing/painting of the Bab was serene and dignified, so withdrawn as to be devoid of presence in this world. It did not look like Dan W.
Slept deeply but could have slept longer. Archives visit: we were to meet at the Golomb gate but I took a taxi to Shifra, thinking the driver would not know "Golomb gate." It took considerable walking and uncertainty to find the Hillel stairs, some puffing to ascend them, a false approach of a school with a security officer, then turned around and saw the Seat of the Universal House of Justice and ascended the last stairs and up to the gate.
We assembled and met a different guide, rode the elevator to the Seat of UHJ banquet hall. The guide said we could recite a prayer if we chose, after doffing our shoes. I said, "That would be nice," so she nodded at me and I recited the Unity prayer. Left baggage behind.
I thought viewing "the portrait," i.e. the photograph of Baha'u'llah, which we have looked forward to so long, would be a hurried glimpse and a shuffle past, so I was surprised.
In the fall of 1974 when I first investigated the Baha'i Faith, I tried to picture the Bab in my mind but instead, forever and indelibly, all I could see in my mind was the face of one of the Baha'is I knew at that time, a very serene and dignified student who I also knew as a folkdancer, Dan W. The drawing/painting of the Bab was serene and dignified, so withdrawn as to be devoid of presence in this world. It did not look like Dan W.
Pilrimage Day #6 February 7, 2009
2-7-9 Saturday 2130 Nof Hotel
0930 Met Mrs. Imani and family + other family at the Dan Carmel: sherut to Akka. We bought about 50 lbs of enormous pomegranates, grapes, then bought fresh-pressed pomegranate juice at a vendor. Looked at an Arabic bookstore, hung out at Rabin Peace Park looking for our connections, me trying to quell my anxiety.
Eventually we walked back closer to town and met up with our party. We all took 3 taxis to Bahji. Tip # 4: Supposing hypothetically that one eats a lot of pomegranates and grapefruit and little else, and sits inside the Shrine in a side room, one may discover that due to the acoustics and silence inside the shrine, every tiny sound emited from the digestive process becomes magnified greatly. So one leaves to try again later.
Today at the Bahji Visitors Center there were fresh, ripe avocadoes from the property. Perfect.
Returning to the Shrine: more prayers for unity and for individuals, the departed, the intensive programs of growth teaching efforts. This time I stayed in the main hall of the Shrine, mainly saying the Greatest Name and soaking up the spirit.
The Haram-al-Aqdas is the greater area surrounding the Shrine at Bahji, and considered just as holy. In the photos taken of the Shrine there is always a black metal gate in front of the door of the Shrine. Past the gate is the Haram-al-Aqdas. The gate appears like a veil before the Beloved. Seeing the door without the gate is like seeing the Beloved without the veil.
We caught a sherut to the PRC where I ate some cheese, the cauliflower and tahini. Enayat made one more call and was able to get messages from his cell at last. Taxi to the Nof: the driver gave us his card with a poem he wrote.
Unity prayers help.
0930 Met Mrs. Imani and family + other family at the Dan Carmel: sherut to Akka. We bought about 50 lbs of enormous pomegranates, grapes, then bought fresh-pressed pomegranate juice at a vendor. Looked at an Arabic bookstore, hung out at Rabin Peace Park looking for our connections, me trying to quell my anxiety.
Eventually we walked back closer to town and met up with our party. We all took 3 taxis to Bahji. Tip # 4: Supposing hypothetically that one eats a lot of pomegranates and grapefruit and little else, and sits inside the Shrine in a side room, one may discover that due to the acoustics and silence inside the shrine, every tiny sound emited from the digestive process becomes magnified greatly. So one leaves to try again later.
Today at the Bahji Visitors Center there were fresh, ripe avocadoes from the property. Perfect.
Returning to the Shrine: more prayers for unity and for individuals, the departed, the intensive programs of growth teaching efforts. This time I stayed in the main hall of the Shrine, mainly saying the Greatest Name and soaking up the spirit.
The Haram-al-Aqdas is the greater area surrounding the Shrine at Bahji, and considered just as holy. In the photos taken of the Shrine there is always a black metal gate in front of the door of the Shrine. Past the gate is the Haram-al-Aqdas. The gate appears like a veil before the Beloved. Seeing the door without the gate is like seeing the Beloved without the veil.
We caught a sherut to the PRC where I ate some cheese, the cauliflower and tahini. Enayat made one more call and was able to get messages from his cell at last. Taxi to the Nof: the driver gave us his card with a poem he wrote.
Unity prayers help.
Pilrimage Day 4, 2-5-9, Part 2
2-5-9 Day #4
In the Visitors' Center: lunch of bread, hard cheese, tea and sugar and milk, yogurt, recently-foraged grapefruit, pomegranate. Delicious as are all meals here.
Second visit to the Shrine of Bahji: because we are blessed with a very small group of 114 [versus about 400] there is no waiting to enter the Shrine.
Tip #3: practice sitting on the floor with and without back support. [Note: before my divorce in 2005 I used to say the Long Obligatory Prayer, ending on the floor, then stretch and say the rest of my prayers every morning. Now sitting on the floor is very difficult.]
Very uncomfortable physically on the floor. My other challenge was the acute intensity of feeling I am now aware of while within the Shrine. Yet it is also hard to leave.
A thought crossed my mind, the possibility that progress in the next world may involve the increasing ability to "tolerate" the intensity of being close to the Lord. Only a thought.
In the Visitors' Center: lunch of bread, hard cheese, tea and sugar and milk, yogurt, recently-foraged grapefruit, pomegranate. Delicious as are all meals here.
Second visit to the Shrine of Bahji: because we are blessed with a very small group of 114 [versus about 400] there is no waiting to enter the Shrine.
Tip #3: practice sitting on the floor with and without back support. [Note: before my divorce in 2005 I used to say the Long Obligatory Prayer, ending on the floor, then stretch and say the rest of my prayers every morning. Now sitting on the floor is very difficult.]
Very uncomfortable physically on the floor. My other challenge was the acute intensity of feeling I am now aware of while within the Shrine. Yet it is also hard to leave.
A thought crossed my mind, the possibility that progress in the next world may involve the increasing ability to "tolerate" the intensity of being close to the Lord. Only a thought.
Pilrimage Day 4, 2-5-9, Part 1
2-5-9 Thursday 1900 Bahji Visitor Center
Awoke to a glorious dawn; low clouds on horizon over Akka and bay were glowing bright pink. Crow Time. Long prayer facing [approximately] Bahji. Packed up most of food [bread, cauliflower, cabbage and carrots] to take to PRC. Dodged [literally] across the street for 4 varieties of cheese, yogurt, and hummus.
We ate a leisurely breakfast which had me champing at the bit again. Trek down terraces with a stunning blue sky, blue bay and sunlight. Knees and calves quickly became shaky. Down almost to the Shrine of the Bab, then out the gate back to Hazionut and we're at the PRC. Just time to assemble lunch.
On the bus, I told Doris from Lithuania: "Red sky in the morning, sailors' warning; Red sky at night, sailors' delight. Good thing we're not sailors!"
This morning to the Mansion of Mazraih, which turned out to be my favorite of the properties we visited [of course, not counting the Shrines.] O, Joy! In the room of Baha'u'llah I focused entirely on teaching prayers for the intensive programs of growth across the globe, favoring Clusher 19 in Washington, though.
Before the visit to the room of Baha'u'llah, our friend Inge sang Allahumma in a voice of pear nectar sweetened with honey, tasted in the glow of a sunlit orchard. Then Enayat chanted. There were vases of roses of all colors downstairs, even more fragrant than our old-fashioned roses in my old house.
Out in the garden of Mizraih I foraged for the delicious grapefruit and oranges, groundfall only. About a mile away, across the fields, circled a dozen eagles over a flock of black-faced sheep . . . hmm. Joy!
We then drove to the Mansion of Bahji where my experience was sad and puzzling. In the room of Baha'u'llah, the very room of Edward Granville Brown's visit, I entered, sat, and had the most uneasy feeling I ought to leave. Cognitively, it made no sense to me.
The balcony was lovely.
Awoke to a glorious dawn; low clouds on horizon over Akka and bay were glowing bright pink. Crow Time. Long prayer facing [approximately] Bahji. Packed up most of food [bread, cauliflower, cabbage and carrots] to take to PRC. Dodged [literally] across the street for 4 varieties of cheese, yogurt, and hummus.
We ate a leisurely breakfast which had me champing at the bit again. Trek down terraces with a stunning blue sky, blue bay and sunlight. Knees and calves quickly became shaky. Down almost to the Shrine of the Bab, then out the gate back to Hazionut and we're at the PRC. Just time to assemble lunch.
On the bus, I told Doris from Lithuania: "Red sky in the morning, sailors' warning; Red sky at night, sailors' delight. Good thing we're not sailors!"
This morning to the Mansion of Mazraih, which turned out to be my favorite of the properties we visited [of course, not counting the Shrines.] O, Joy! In the room of Baha'u'llah I focused entirely on teaching prayers for the intensive programs of growth across the globe, favoring Clusher 19 in Washington, though.
Before the visit to the room of Baha'u'llah, our friend Inge sang Allahumma in a voice of pear nectar sweetened with honey, tasted in the glow of a sunlit orchard. Then Enayat chanted. There were vases of roses of all colors downstairs, even more fragrant than our old-fashioned roses in my old house.
Out in the garden of Mizraih I foraged for the delicious grapefruit and oranges, groundfall only. About a mile away, across the fields, circled a dozen eagles over a flock of black-faced sheep . . . hmm. Joy!
We then drove to the Mansion of Bahji where my experience was sad and puzzling. In the room of Baha'u'llah, the very room of Edward Granville Brown's visit, I entered, sat, and had the most uneasy feeling I ought to leave. Cognitively, it made no sense to me.
The balcony was lovely.
Pilrimage Day 3, February 4 2009
2-4-9 1600 Pilgrim Reception Center [PRC] Day # 3
Woke 0600, dressed and assembled lunch, breakfast 0630 to 0650 [rather scanty due to shortness of time] and found about 7 of us waiting for the #23 bus, which came late at 0715 or 0720. Tumbled out of bus, crossed street, into green Egged tour bus and off to Akka.
We visited the blue and white House of Udi Kammar & House of Abbud; beautiful. Prayers.
Walked to the barracks in Akka. Blue sky, bright sun, blue Mediterranean. We assembled outside, heard the story of the early pilgrims from Iran watching for Baha'u'llah to wave His handkerchief to them from one of the windows of the prison. We went up a narrow outside staircase, then into the building and suddenly, unprepared, into the room with the skylight and roped off area where Mirza Mihdi was sacrificed. We heard the story of that, and the story of Badi. Shoes off, into the cell of Baha'u'llah.
We walked to the "Land Gate" in Akka, then back to the bus. Most went to Bahji; we returned to the PRC in Haifa and ate bread, tahini, carrot, cauliflower, figs, grapefruit from Bahji, and tea.
2245 Nof Hotel
After lunch my plan was to nap, then see the terraces and the Shrines. I went to the female resting room and awoke about 1700. Some time in the last 24 hours I'd set my watch ahead by mistake, and had to reset it. Enayat showed up, I brought out snacks and brought him tea. He was engrossed with fellow Persians and I went off on foot to the program at the International Teaching Center auditorium, following another group of Iranians. I was trying to teach the older ladies how to pace a hill climb with breathing: breathe in, two steps, breathe out, two steps, which I learned as a youth with mountain climbing.
There was a very short, succinct talk by one of the Counselors, Juan _____, then they met the pilgrims, then we had tea and cookies and talked for an hour, shared a sherut with Haghighi's, the family with whom we waited for the bus in the morning.
I showered, Enayat had some good observations about the lack of reverence and obliviousness of the local populace to both the Christian and the Baha'i holy places. Also what Christ and Baha'u'llah said when questioned by the authorities.
I shared my opinion that the "Chosen People"--who knows what they were chosen to do? I think they are chosen to form the State of Israel in this day as a shelter and haven for the Baha'i World Center, as the only non-Muslim [therefore, non-hostile] nation in the Middle East.
Enayat fell asleep hearing me read the Tablet of Visitation.
Woke 0600, dressed and assembled lunch, breakfast 0630 to 0650 [rather scanty due to shortness of time] and found about 7 of us waiting for the #23 bus, which came late at 0715 or 0720. Tumbled out of bus, crossed street, into green Egged tour bus and off to Akka.
We visited the blue and white House of Udi Kammar & House of Abbud; beautiful. Prayers.
Walked to the barracks in Akka. Blue sky, bright sun, blue Mediterranean. We assembled outside, heard the story of the early pilgrims from Iran watching for Baha'u'llah to wave His handkerchief to them from one of the windows of the prison. We went up a narrow outside staircase, then into the building and suddenly, unprepared, into the room with the skylight and roped off area where Mirza Mihdi was sacrificed. We heard the story of that, and the story of Badi. Shoes off, into the cell of Baha'u'llah.
We walked to the "Land Gate" in Akka, then back to the bus. Most went to Bahji; we returned to the PRC in Haifa and ate bread, tahini, carrot, cauliflower, figs, grapefruit from Bahji, and tea.
2245 Nof Hotel
After lunch my plan was to nap, then see the terraces and the Shrines. I went to the female resting room and awoke about 1700. Some time in the last 24 hours I'd set my watch ahead by mistake, and had to reset it. Enayat showed up, I brought out snacks and brought him tea. He was engrossed with fellow Persians and I went off on foot to the program at the International Teaching Center auditorium, following another group of Iranians. I was trying to teach the older ladies how to pace a hill climb with breathing: breathe in, two steps, breathe out, two steps, which I learned as a youth with mountain climbing.
There was a very short, succinct talk by one of the Counselors, Juan _____, then they met the pilgrims, then we had tea and cookies and talked for an hour, shared a sherut with Haghighi's, the family with whom we waited for the bus in the morning.
I showered, Enayat had some good observations about the lack of reverence and obliviousness of the local populace to both the Christian and the Baha'i holy places. Also what Christ and Baha'u'llah said when questioned by the authorities.
I shared my opinion that the "Chosen People"--who knows what they were chosen to do? I think they are chosen to form the State of Israel in this day as a shelter and haven for the Baha'i World Center, as the only non-Muslim [therefore, non-hostile] nation in the Middle East.
Enayat fell asleep hearing me read the Tablet of Visitation.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Pilrimage Day 2, February 3, 2009 Part 2
Inside the Bahji Visitors Center, a pleasant place to relax before and after visiting the actual Shrine, there is a cafeteria where I got out our lunch: heavy whole wheat bread, creamy feta cheese. The Center served exquisite sweet, fragrant, juicy oranges and grapefruit, tea with Persian sugar, milk, small cookies. I ate two oranges and two grapefruits [we had skipped breakfast to be on time.] The fruit is grown here, I am certain.
2-3-9 1950 Nof Hotel
On the return bus trip we rode in front and spoke with our guide for the outing, Marcia. The group was instructed to meet at 2 PM to meet our guide for all our expeditions for the first time. At the PRC we ate lunch part two; more bread and cheese, pickled mushrooms, the delicious skinny Israeli cucumbers; tea and sugar, dates, and a carrot for dessert. There is a resting room downstairs in the PRC and I napped, awaking at 2 sharp.
Our guide imparted some information, then we walked to the Seat of the Universal House of Justice, where we met with eight of the members, Enayat informing each one about Sobhani Meditation; me imparting to them the great love and adoration we hold for the Institution and its members.
We took a sherut to Carmel Center, developed film, ate a felafel. I discovered I was too tired to attend the presentation in the evening. Enayat was up between 0130 and 0230 trying to phone the United States.
2-3-9 1950 Nof Hotel
On the return bus trip we rode in front and spoke with our guide for the outing, Marcia. The group was instructed to meet at 2 PM to meet our guide for all our expeditions for the first time. At the PRC we ate lunch part two; more bread and cheese, pickled mushrooms, the delicious skinny Israeli cucumbers; tea and sugar, dates, and a carrot for dessert. There is a resting room downstairs in the PRC and I napped, awaking at 2 sharp.
Our guide imparted some information, then we walked to the Seat of the Universal House of Justice, where we met with eight of the members, Enayat informing each one about Sobhani Meditation; me imparting to them the great love and adoration we hold for the Institution and its members.
We took a sherut to Carmel Center, developed film, ate a felafel. I discovered I was too tired to attend the presentation in the evening. Enayat was up between 0130 and 0230 trying to phone the United States.
Pilrimage Day 2, February 3, 2009 Part 1
2-3-9 Bahji Visitors Center, Tuesday 1120
Awoke 0300 with the grief again surging up in my breast, and sobbed a long time to let it out. Enayat woke up and we talked.
Up 0545, took Bus # 22 to PRC, the driver going about 50 mph. About 6 shekels. Enayat immediately went upstairs to make phone calls and I was sure he'd be left behind, miss the bus to Bahji. I was still irascible on the bus over, trying to tell Enayat my dream and being interrupted. There was laundry hanging outside the apartment buildings. A beautiful, sunny day, perfect.
Myself very imperfect. All my character faults, bad habits and flaws seemed magnified today, as if a divine, giant magnifying glass was focused on my faults. I thought: soon to set them aflame, let them fall to ash.
1930 Approached Bahji Shrine of Baha'u'llah with the remains of red roof tiles crunching underfoot. I gaze towards the gate as I walk, praying. Suddenly I look up and the gate has silently opened. Just as all at once, the gate to the next world opens and we go through. As I reflect on this, I wish to die. I wish to die to this world so I may live in Baha'u'llah. I wish my character flaws burnt up so I may be recreated by Baha'u'llah a new person. I am eager to let go of all the bad.
As we walk towards the entrance to the holiest spot on Earth, the place where the holy remains of Baha'u'llah are interred, a long carpet is laid out along the gravel path.
A tip on removing shoes on the entrance to Bahji: do not do this while you are still on the gravel.
Tip #2: if you are preparing for Pilgrimage, practice walking backwards with ease and grace [if you can't find Ease and Grace, practice with someone else.]
We file inside the holiest spot on Earth. The Prayer for Visitation is read. I figure out the placement of the Holy Threshold. Inside a side room, I pray. There are windows at the top of the room with blue sky showing, and I can hear crows and songbirds. Multiple Persian silk carpets.
Praying in the Shrine, the problem of feeling like the parent when we travel: the answer came. Notify the person, do not use force. Even Baha'u'llah, in the Tablets to the Kings and Rulers of the Earth, notified the kings of His mission, announced His station. He did not force them to take action. But He did allow them to experience the consequences of rejecting or ignoring Him. No force.
As I prayed for myself and for my daughter, and many, many people, both departed and still here, I did not experience the emotional breakdown. More peace.
Awoke 0300 with the grief again surging up in my breast, and sobbed a long time to let it out. Enayat woke up and we talked.
Up 0545, took Bus # 22 to PRC, the driver going about 50 mph. About 6 shekels. Enayat immediately went upstairs to make phone calls and I was sure he'd be left behind, miss the bus to Bahji. I was still irascible on the bus over, trying to tell Enayat my dream and being interrupted. There was laundry hanging outside the apartment buildings. A beautiful, sunny day, perfect.
Myself very imperfect. All my character faults, bad habits and flaws seemed magnified today, as if a divine, giant magnifying glass was focused on my faults. I thought: soon to set them aflame, let them fall to ash.
1930 Approached Bahji Shrine of Baha'u'llah with the remains of red roof tiles crunching underfoot. I gaze towards the gate as I walk, praying. Suddenly I look up and the gate has silently opened. Just as all at once, the gate to the next world opens and we go through. As I reflect on this, I wish to die. I wish to die to this world so I may live in Baha'u'llah. I wish my character flaws burnt up so I may be recreated by Baha'u'llah a new person. I am eager to let go of all the bad.
As we walk towards the entrance to the holiest spot on Earth, the place where the holy remains of Baha'u'llah are interred, a long carpet is laid out along the gravel path.
A tip on removing shoes on the entrance to Bahji: do not do this while you are still on the gravel.
Tip #2: if you are preparing for Pilgrimage, practice walking backwards with ease and grace [if you can't find Ease and Grace, practice with someone else.]
We file inside the holiest spot on Earth. The Prayer for Visitation is read. I figure out the placement of the Holy Threshold. Inside a side room, I pray. There are windows at the top of the room with blue sky showing, and I can hear crows and songbirds. Multiple Persian silk carpets.
Praying in the Shrine, the problem of feeling like the parent when we travel: the answer came. Notify the person, do not use force. Even Baha'u'llah, in the Tablets to the Kings and Rulers of the Earth, notified the kings of His mission, announced His station. He did not force them to take action. But He did allow them to experience the consequences of rejecting or ignoring Him. No force.
As I prayed for myself and for my daughter, and many, many people, both departed and still here, I did not experience the emotional breakdown. More peace.
Pilgrimage Day 1 February 2 2009
We arose and ate the buffet breakfast in the Nof, which was varied and delicious, most particularly the rosemary roasted potatoes. I never saw those potatoes again, though. It was a nice day so we walked, thinking to walk down the Terraces. After finding one of the gates at the top of the hill, it was explained to us that we could not enter before obtaining our Pilgrim name badges. We walked all the way down Yefe Nof, around the corner at the light, and all the way down Hazionut, which took at least an hour. Enayat's first views of the shrines and the buildings on the Terraces, as well as the stunning view of the Bay of Haifa were spoiled by my impatience.
At last we reached the Pilgrim Reception Center, registered in several steps, and I spent a long time in the upstairs room of the PRC poring over our schedule and making friends with another pilgrim, drinking my first cups of tea with Persian sugar cubes and milk. I think Enayat was making phone calls and visiting. Much later I discovered the second floor cafeteria at the PRC; when I first encountered it, it was filled with Persians and Enayat was in his element. We went to the International Teaching Center Auditorium for an orientation film, then walked to the Pilgrim House where we gathered in the courtyard and the Prayer for Visitation was recited, facing the Shrine of the Bab. Then we walked to the Shrine of the Bab.
[Crow Time: in Tacoma at my last residence, I discovered that all the crows in the area converge for the night in a large grove of trees in the Tideflats, hundreds of them circling around and settling down. At dawn, when I looked out of my bedroom window, it was possible to see dozens of crows streaming back from this point in all directions, flying from the sunrise and cawing as they returned to their posts for the day. In the evening, the crows all fly back from their daytime habitations and return to their nests. To me, it is magical.]
4 PM, sunset, approaching the Shrine of the Bab. It's Crow time. For reals.
There are two shrines within the ground floor of the large, golden-domed building referred to as the "Shrine of the Bab": the room where the holy remains of the Bab are interred, and the room where the holy remains of 'Abdu'l-Baha are interred. Shoes are removed before entering, and bags, purses, coats etc remain outside the Shrines, under the watchful eye of an attendant on the outside.
I entered the Shrine of 'Abdu'l-Baha and began praying. Then I opened my prayer book to the Babs Prayer for Protection where I have the most recent photograph of my daughter, Pearl, taken December 28 days prior to her suicide attempt. I lost it, silently praying and blubbering, the whole wound opening up in my heart ungrieved. [From then on, I always came prepared with tissues or a handkerchief in my hand.]
Tomorrow, 0715, we meet to go to Bahji.
At last we reached the Pilgrim Reception Center, registered in several steps, and I spent a long time in the upstairs room of the PRC poring over our schedule and making friends with another pilgrim, drinking my first cups of tea with Persian sugar cubes and milk. I think Enayat was making phone calls and visiting. Much later I discovered the second floor cafeteria at the PRC; when I first encountered it, it was filled with Persians and Enayat was in his element. We went to the International Teaching Center Auditorium for an orientation film, then walked to the Pilgrim House where we gathered in the courtyard and the Prayer for Visitation was recited, facing the Shrine of the Bab. Then we walked to the Shrine of the Bab.
[Crow Time: in Tacoma at my last residence, I discovered that all the crows in the area converge for the night in a large grove of trees in the Tideflats, hundreds of them circling around and settling down. At dawn, when I looked out of my bedroom window, it was possible to see dozens of crows streaming back from this point in all directions, flying from the sunrise and cawing as they returned to their posts for the day. In the evening, the crows all fly back from their daytime habitations and return to their nests. To me, it is magical.]
4 PM, sunset, approaching the Shrine of the Bab. It's Crow time. For reals.
There are two shrines within the ground floor of the large, golden-domed building referred to as the "Shrine of the Bab": the room where the holy remains of the Bab are interred, and the room where the holy remains of 'Abdu'l-Baha are interred. Shoes are removed before entering, and bags, purses, coats etc remain outside the Shrines, under the watchful eye of an attendant on the outside.
I entered the Shrine of 'Abdu'l-Baha and began praying. Then I opened my prayer book to the Babs Prayer for Protection where I have the most recent photograph of my daughter, Pearl, taken December 28 days prior to her suicide attempt. I lost it, silently praying and blubbering, the whole wound opening up in my heart ungrieved. [From then on, I always came prepared with tissues or a handkerchief in my hand.]
Tomorrow, 0715, we meet to go to Bahji.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The Road To Pilgrimage: February 1, 2009, Part 3
We are dropped, with our luggage, at the Jerusalem bus station and find our way onto the express bus for Haifa. Not seeing two seats open together, I make my way to the back seat, but am not followed by Enayat, who sits with a pleasant lady and has a pleasant journey.
I am seated next to two men cheerfully getting drunk on Vodka which they have in a Coca Cola bottle. At first they are pleasant. One of them keeps asking questions about the Baha'i Faith and I eventually refer him to the Internet. He talks about his messy divorce, his children in Sweden which he has just left. The young, drunken soldier next to him decides to urinate into the Coca Cola bottle. Eventually my seatmate is turning on his laptop and playing a Seinfeld episode dealing with the subject of masturbation, and asking me if I am the "master of my domain." This behavior escalates to intolerable by the time we reach Haifa. The worst of this is my concern that my first view of the terraces and the Shrine of the Bab should occur under these circumstances. Fortunately, this does not happen.
At the Haifa bus station we take a bus on Enayat's initiative which goes up to Carmel Center. I protest; center of what? After a long and confusing ride up the mountain, we get off at Carmel Center and are looking around for signs indicating the Nof Hotel. A young man Enayat asks directions of gives us a lift to the Nof. He says, "most people find Israelis rather brutal," but we say, no, most have been very friendly.
Nof Hotel, at last, 2000.
I am seated next to two men cheerfully getting drunk on Vodka which they have in a Coca Cola bottle. At first they are pleasant. One of them keeps asking questions about the Baha'i Faith and I eventually refer him to the Internet. He talks about his messy divorce, his children in Sweden which he has just left. The young, drunken soldier next to him decides to urinate into the Coca Cola bottle. Eventually my seatmate is turning on his laptop and playing a Seinfeld episode dealing with the subject of masturbation, and asking me if I am the "master of my domain." This behavior escalates to intolerable by the time we reach Haifa. The worst of this is my concern that my first view of the terraces and the Shrine of the Bab should occur under these circumstances. Fortunately, this does not happen.
At the Haifa bus station we take a bus on Enayat's initiative which goes up to Carmel Center. I protest; center of what? After a long and confusing ride up the mountain, we get off at Carmel Center and are looking around for signs indicating the Nof Hotel. A young man Enayat asks directions of gives us a lift to the Nof. He says, "most people find Israelis rather brutal," but we say, no, most have been very friendly.
Nof Hotel, at last, 2000.
The Road To Pilgrimage: February 1, 2009, Part 1
2-1-9 Sunday 2045 Haifa, Nof Hotel
Room 207, view of the Shrine of the Bab through a palm tree in the parking lot.
0710: Call from Bein Harim tour company from Mercure Hotel, despite arrangements to pick us up at Sun City. I called company, they showed up and picked us up with luggage. On Enayat's insistence, we changed the tour to include Bethlehem.
0900: We're in transit south to Jerusalem from Tel Aviv. I'm in the minivan filled with nervous exhaustion, remorse for transgressing the World Center travel guidelines r.e. Jerusalem and Bethlehem. Then we cross a checkpoint and we've entered the West Bank. Sin # 3.
We stop at overlook at Mount Scopus, then pass the Dung Gate and park at the Zion Gate and traipse to the Western Wall. I am singing the round I learned from a Baha'i many years ago:
By the waters, the waters of Babylon
We lay down and wept, and wept, for Thee, Zion.
We remember Thee, remember Thee, remember Thee, Zion.
Our tour guide seems to recognize this tune, to my surprise.
We visited Via Dolorosa, a crowded and narrow grotto of market places where we were warned against purchases, which would make us more vulnerable to pickpockets. This was a nightmare of my husband lagging blocks behind, and my terror he would be left behind as we disappear up another alley. I have forgotten the name of the gate where we should rendezvous, should we get lost, and I am certain that Enayat never listened to it. 3 hours of Hurry up, Enayat!
R.e. the Western Wall. I refused to approach it, to participate in the segregation of the sexes. There is no separate but equal. I did say a little prayer for peace, though.
I avoided touring the Church of the Sepulchre as too dark and crowded and unnecessary stress. I lingered in the courtyard listening to the muezzin, releasing a few tears of stress and singing Allahumma. We eat lunch, then separate: two people are going to the Vad Yashem, the Holocaust Museum. Enayat and I and another gentleman are going to Bethlehem.
Room 207, view of the Shrine of the Bab through a palm tree in the parking lot.
0710: Call from Bein Harim tour company from Mercure Hotel, despite arrangements to pick us up at Sun City. I called company, they showed up and picked us up with luggage. On Enayat's insistence, we changed the tour to include Bethlehem.
0900: We're in transit south to Jerusalem from Tel Aviv. I'm in the minivan filled with nervous exhaustion, remorse for transgressing the World Center travel guidelines r.e. Jerusalem and Bethlehem. Then we cross a checkpoint and we've entered the West Bank. Sin # 3.
We stop at overlook at Mount Scopus, then pass the Dung Gate and park at the Zion Gate and traipse to the Western Wall. I am singing the round I learned from a Baha'i many years ago:
By the waters, the waters of Babylon
We lay down and wept, and wept, for Thee, Zion.
We remember Thee, remember Thee, remember Thee, Zion.
Our tour guide seems to recognize this tune, to my surprise.
We visited Via Dolorosa, a crowded and narrow grotto of market places where we were warned against purchases, which would make us more vulnerable to pickpockets. This was a nightmare of my husband lagging blocks behind, and my terror he would be left behind as we disappear up another alley. I have forgotten the name of the gate where we should rendezvous, should we get lost, and I am certain that Enayat never listened to it. 3 hours of Hurry up, Enayat!
R.e. the Western Wall. I refused to approach it, to participate in the segregation of the sexes. There is no separate but equal. I did say a little prayer for peace, though.
I avoided touring the Church of the Sepulchre as too dark and crowded and unnecessary stress. I lingered in the courtyard listening to the muezzin, releasing a few tears of stress and singing Allahumma. We eat lunch, then separate: two people are going to the Vad Yashem, the Holocaust Museum. Enayat and I and another gentleman are going to Bethlehem.
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