Carlos

I first spoke with Carlos about three weeks ago when my internet connection went on the fritz. Turned out later it had happened to everybody in the neighborhood, but while I was on the phone with them I discovered that months ago, when I asked to have the landline and cable disconnected because I never use them, it had never been done. They switched me to Carlos. I turned on the Evil Twin and accused them of neglecting to disconnect the relevant services to make more money. Carlos was apologetic in his soft Latin tones. Instead of putting me on hold, he allowed "dead air time," as he made sure the disconnect order went through, every minute or so saying, "just another minute, almost done . . . " in a cajoling tone, obviously hoping to deflect any further displays of temper.

Next I heard from Carlos when he called me for Penguin Windows. He kept talking about a dividend, and I was sure they just wanted me to spend more money, which I haven't got any more of. Finally he said, "we'll call you after the holidays."

Then I was at work and picked up the phone to receive a report from the nurse on a resident we were about to admit from Tacoma General Hospital. "Hi, this is Carlos . . . " At one point he mentioned the plan to send the resident over with the indwelling catheter still in place. I asked what the diagnoses was for the catheter. In a voice intended for idiots he patiently explained that "she isn't ambulatory." I started to hit my forehead.

Carlos called me again from Comcast the other day, seeking to know why I asked to disconnect the landline and cable service. I explained that my cell phone is my primary phone and I don't need a landline; that I work evening hours and there is nothing to watch in the daytime, even if I had the time. He said, okay, but "we could probably make you a really good deal . . . " and as he is talking I say, "This is me saying I'm going to hang up now. Goodbye," as I hear his voice running on and on.

He's a busy guy.