Tuesday I had an "interview" at "Right at Home" which is an agency for providing home care to private pay patients. My interview went like:
Morris: What can I do for you?
Me: I had an interview scheduled for one o'clock, but I was instructed to come early to fill out paperwork.
Morris: [looking at my manila folder] I don't want to look at your resume. If you were invited to the interview, that is enough. I have quite a bit of paperwork for you to fill out. There is a licensed nurse orientation on Monday I would like you to come to, and I would like you to come in tomorrow at 9:30 to speak with Rimona about a marketing job.
I did not receive a clear answer whether I should continue my UI job search.
So I gathered up a folder with about 20 forms to fill out, plus a job application, even though I had submitted an application online. I requested and received a print-out of my submitted application to aid me in filling out the paper one, as I had not brought info for filling out an application . . . as I had already submitted one. I took rather a tough test for nursing competency, including questions about medications I rarely administer and dosage forms that are rarely used, e.g. grains of morphine and so forth. They took my email to send me a link for a course in administering Cimzin injections for Crohn's Disease and Rheumatoid Arthritis. At home I printed it up, and it was about 100 pages total of course material. Egads.
Then I spent about an hour reproducing my job application, signing forms enabling them to do a background check, and reference checks, and so forth. It was extensive. At no time did I fill out any tax deduction information.
This morning I and another nurse came in and were ushered into the conference room. We spoke with "Mr. Anderson" [the franchise owner] and his wife "Faith" about a job marketing the services of the company to hospitals, skilled nursing facilities etc. Rimona, who performs this job as well as her other administrative duties, also sat in on part of this discussion. We also asked a lot of questions about the company. The other nurse asked about whether the marketing job is paid hourly and received an affirmative. Then she asked, and found out that there is a quota expected of a certain number of referrals for the person to bring in.
Back in the office area I was informed that I need to bring in proof of Hepatitis B vaccines I took at the health department back in 1989, and PPD TB tests which facilities usually administer on campus, so of which I don't have a record. Every other employer I've ever had checks the PPD themselves. This place is different. I also was asked to bring in proof of car insurance, which was a good thing: turns out that whenever I received my last insurance card, apparently I forgot to place it in the vehicle. Anyway, I inquired about filling out tax information and was informed that I was not "hired" until I provided the above information.
Back in the parking lot I spoke with the other nurse, who is already working full time elsewhere, and is not interested in the marketing position. She said she had a conversation two months ago with an employee no longer in the office, who warned her that the paychecks had been bouncing. We both agreed that this place just has a very weird "vibe" and is very vague in dispensing concrete information. They give the general impression that one is hired, before that is actually true. They had definitely made it clear that they did not have full time work, only part-time. Anyway, this other nurse emailed me later with some referrals for other agencies, which I found very helpful.
I think I will definitely continue my job search.
Following this interview, I went to a dental appointment. It turned out all I needed was a cleaning, and the cleaning was rather cursory as I have been faithfully flossing every morning [yay! personal triumph!] so there wasn't too much buildup. Also, my hygienist and I really enjoy catching up on what is going on with our families.
Then I went to my insurance office and they printed up a proof of insurance card for me. I ate lunch, went to the library, and sat at DeCoursey Park watching the ducklings, which are now mostly Junior Youth and Youth ducks, but there are new sets of the puffball young "'lings'". There were also some Canada Goose goslings, a light blond color of yellow, and larger than the ducklings, naturally. As usual many people fed the ducks, which is prohibited.
Major excitement: I saw a redheaded woodpecker above in the tree across the path from me. Beautiful.
Came home and followed up on my promise to the counselor at WorkSource to take the JobFit skills/behavioral assessment online. The first part was a lot of fun, answering questions truthfully about my rather sensitive and reactive personality. Then there were a lot of algebra questions, some of which I could figure out, and questions about numerical sequences which I absolutely had no clue how to solve. Then I received a PDF-like file with a report of jobs they thought I might match up with.
I spoke with Enayat on the phone yesterday and he is still lucid and stable. Boy will I be embarrassed if he miraculously improves. However, I'm thinking that his lab values [Creatinine 13 and low hemoglobin and hematocrit] don't lie. He's just doing well because of the intensive treatments he received at the hospital. We'll all just have to see what happens next.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
Anticipatory Grieving
Sunday my husband's daughter and her husband and I, as well as the doctors and nurses at Good Sam, tried to get him to accept dialysis. He also phoned this quack he has been to who runs a clinic in Eatonville feeding people juices and herbs, which is supposed to cure everything from cancer to obesity to kidney failure. My husband decided he would rather forego dialysis and take his chances with the quack.
His daughter and her husband spent the night at the hospital. Nobody got much sleep. I texted his daughter this morning to see how things are going, and she replied, "We're taking him home now." I was a little concerned that maybe she was angry at me, but it turned out that she was fielding a lot of phone calls and conversations at the time, so she sounded a little terse.
I don't know whether my husband will try to go to the quack or not, but for now his daughter will stay with him to take care of him.
My husband came home to Eatonville with his daughter and son in law; I picked up some cleaning supplies and met them at the farm house. While my husband slept upstairs, we puzzled over a list of dietary recommendations for a renal diet. Most of my husband's favorite foods are taboo: any beans, peas or lentils; potatoes; beets; oatmeal; whole grain breads; bananas; etc etc. He also needs to limit his fluid intake.
The farm house was a horrible mess because of previous renters. I started cleaning the stove, looked inside the oven to find a cake pan with two molded, dessicated pork chops. We threw out garbage, I cleaned the sink and washed what dishes I could recover, cleaned the counter, cleaned the upstairs bathroom my husband will use, and called it a day. The daughter and I agreed it was a lot easier to focus on concrete tasks.
Meanwhile my husband slept soundly at least 3 to 4 hours, then woke alert and refreshed, and I helped him up [his mattress is on the floor] and he went to the bathroom. I found his cell phone and gave it to him.
Driving to Puyallup from Eatonville I bawled the whole way home, with a motorhome on my tail and the familiar road passing by.
His daughter and her husband spent the night at the hospital. Nobody got much sleep. I texted his daughter this morning to see how things are going, and she replied, "We're taking him home now." I was a little concerned that maybe she was angry at me, but it turned out that she was fielding a lot of phone calls and conversations at the time, so she sounded a little terse.
I don't know whether my husband will try to go to the quack or not, but for now his daughter will stay with him to take care of him.
My husband came home to Eatonville with his daughter and son in law; I picked up some cleaning supplies and met them at the farm house. While my husband slept upstairs, we puzzled over a list of dietary recommendations for a renal diet. Most of my husband's favorite foods are taboo: any beans, peas or lentils; potatoes; beets; oatmeal; whole grain breads; bananas; etc etc. He also needs to limit his fluid intake.
The farm house was a horrible mess because of previous renters. I started cleaning the stove, looked inside the oven to find a cake pan with two molded, dessicated pork chops. We threw out garbage, I cleaned the sink and washed what dishes I could recover, cleaned the counter, cleaned the upstairs bathroom my husband will use, and called it a day. The daughter and I agreed it was a lot easier to focus on concrete tasks.
Meanwhile my husband slept soundly at least 3 to 4 hours, then woke alert and refreshed, and I helped him up [his mattress is on the floor] and he went to the bathroom. I found his cell phone and gave it to him.
Driving to Puyallup from Eatonville I bawled the whole way home, with a motorhome on my tail and the familiar road passing by.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Medical Care for the Non-Medical Person
This morning when I turned on my cell I heard from my husband's daughter that yesterday evening's lab work showed critical values and they were trying to find a way to transport him to the hospital, even though he had not answered his cell phone. Eventually with the help of his daughter's friend, he was transported to the hospital by ambulance, where I met him and spent the day. After lots of tests, it turned out that he needs dialysis.
It's taking my husband some time to come to terms with the realization that he needs dialysis. He declined to have it today, and said he would decided by tomorrow. Meanwhile his daughter is flying in tomorrow morning. The other option is Hospice care.
I think he realizes that he needs dialysis if he is going to be able to do the things he wishes to do, but he just isn't fully reconciled to it. This is a person who has never been to a medical doctor in 42 years, so the idea of needing intensive medical care is kind of a shock. He just always thought he would be healthy forever simply because he is a vegetarian.
I'll return in the morning.
It's taking my husband some time to come to terms with the realization that he needs dialysis. He declined to have it today, and said he would decided by tomorrow. Meanwhile his daughter is flying in tomorrow morning. The other option is Hospice care.
I think he realizes that he needs dialysis if he is going to be able to do the things he wishes to do, but he just isn't fully reconciled to it. This is a person who has never been to a medical doctor in 42 years, so the idea of needing intensive medical care is kind of a shock. He just always thought he would be healthy forever simply because he is a vegetarian.
I'll return in the morning.
Friday, May 25, 2012
A Busy and Encouraging Day
Went to mandatory WorkSource orientation to unemployment claims, job search strategies, and WorkSource services this morning. Hosted by "Johnny" it was very upbeat and surprisingly encouraging. He put a positive spin on everything. I was in love with him immediately. ; >
Spent an hour in a quiet WS lobby with my papers spread out in front of me, preparing for my plan of dropping in for a 1:1 session with a counselor. I had listed many of the tasks I do in skilled nursing facilities and in nursing, and I dissected them to extract out the skills involved; then I organized the skills by type of skill [communication, dealing with objects, i.e. concrete operations, or analytical skills] and listed them out, so I could have a list of transferable skills to some other occupation. I intended to ask about what other occupations might be a good fit with the skills I have already.
Then I went to my car and ate a salad, phoned my husband who hasn't been feeling well and left a message. While I was in the car I received a call from an unfamiliar number and was invited to have an interview with a home health company on Tuesday. So that was very encouraging.
Then I went back to WS and spoke with "Kathleen" who listened to my various tales of woe and suggested a Job Fit assessment I can take online; encouraged me to stay in nursing but find a way to heal what makes this so difficult for me, and then get back to her, and recommended a new Stress Management class being held in June.
I ended up going to the Pierce County Library and found a DVD based on one of the Michael Connelly novels, The Lincoln Lawyer, which I will be excited to watch. I hope it will be as good as the book. I also requested several books by Burl Barer.
In my car at the Library I phoned my husband, who has been coughing, is short of breath, and has lower extremity pitting edema. This is a person who had been shoveling tons of gravel onto the roads at his old property for years, and was definitely much more physically fit and strong than I am. He was coming to a particular urgent care clinic south of Tacoma, so I offered to meet him there on the spur of the moment. Then I decided to just head on over to the clinic, as it was West and my home was East, so it would save gas. My math may be way off, but I have guesstimated in my head that it probably costs me about sixty cents per mile to drive, now that gas is so high. Every time I fill the tank it's about $45 a pop.
I spoke to my husband at 3:30 PM. At four I called his daughter in Massechusetts [however you spell it] to mention he was on his way to the clinic. At five I called him to ask where he was. He was still gassing up his car in Eatonville. At six he finally arrived at the clinic. At seven thirty he emerged with two prescriptions in hand and instructions to return tomorrow for his lab test results. Sounds like he has pneumonia, among other things.
This is a person who really, truly has never been to a medical doctor, has practiced a vegetarian diet [including cheese and butter and etc] so assumed he would never get sick. His daughter and I both leaned on him to fill the prescriptions and take the antibiotics. I drove to the Indian restaurant where the proprietor is a friend of his and he took me to dinner. The proprietor wanted to know if I had any sisters. I said, unfortunately they are all married.
When I returned home and checked my bank balance online, I realized my unemployment insurance that I have been so frightened would never be granted without a fight, had been deposited in my account.
Wow.
Spent an hour in a quiet WS lobby with my papers spread out in front of me, preparing for my plan of dropping in for a 1:1 session with a counselor. I had listed many of the tasks I do in skilled nursing facilities and in nursing, and I dissected them to extract out the skills involved; then I organized the skills by type of skill [communication, dealing with objects, i.e. concrete operations, or analytical skills] and listed them out, so I could have a list of transferable skills to some other occupation. I intended to ask about what other occupations might be a good fit with the skills I have already.
Then I went to my car and ate a salad, phoned my husband who hasn't been feeling well and left a message. While I was in the car I received a call from an unfamiliar number and was invited to have an interview with a home health company on Tuesday. So that was very encouraging.
Then I went back to WS and spoke with "Kathleen" who listened to my various tales of woe and suggested a Job Fit assessment I can take online; encouraged me to stay in nursing but find a way to heal what makes this so difficult for me, and then get back to her, and recommended a new Stress Management class being held in June.
I ended up going to the Pierce County Library and found a DVD based on one of the Michael Connelly novels, The Lincoln Lawyer, which I will be excited to watch. I hope it will be as good as the book. I also requested several books by Burl Barer.
In my car at the Library I phoned my husband, who has been coughing, is short of breath, and has lower extremity pitting edema. This is a person who had been shoveling tons of gravel onto the roads at his old property for years, and was definitely much more physically fit and strong than I am. He was coming to a particular urgent care clinic south of Tacoma, so I offered to meet him there on the spur of the moment. Then I decided to just head on over to the clinic, as it was West and my home was East, so it would save gas. My math may be way off, but I have guesstimated in my head that it probably costs me about sixty cents per mile to drive, now that gas is so high. Every time I fill the tank it's about $45 a pop.
I spoke to my husband at 3:30 PM. At four I called his daughter in Massechusetts [however you spell it] to mention he was on his way to the clinic. At five I called him to ask where he was. He was still gassing up his car in Eatonville. At six he finally arrived at the clinic. At seven thirty he emerged with two prescriptions in hand and instructions to return tomorrow for his lab test results. Sounds like he has pneumonia, among other things.
This is a person who really, truly has never been to a medical doctor, has practiced a vegetarian diet [including cheese and butter and etc] so assumed he would never get sick. His daughter and I both leaned on him to fill the prescriptions and take the antibiotics. I drove to the Indian restaurant where the proprietor is a friend of his and he took me to dinner. The proprietor wanted to know if I had any sisters. I said, unfortunately they are all married.
When I returned home and checked my bank balance online, I realized my unemployment insurance that I have been so frightened would never be granted without a fight, had been deposited in my account.
Wow.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Chugging Along
I spent quite a bit of time this morning on the phone with Comcast technical support, fixing my problem with slow internet connections. Finally, clearing out all history with the browser freed up memory or whatever it takes for each connection to load. So that solved a very frustrating problem which had been growing to larger proportions over the last few weeks. I think my job search, with visiting so many sites and filling out so many forms, probably contributed to the overload.
Last night I went to a lovely celebration of the Declaration of the Bab at Miss Lisa's. She had a hard time remembering the year, and we chimed in with a chorus of, "In 1844, Lord, in 1844, oh, the world passed away on the 23rd of May in 1844." Kind of a campy old song we used to sing when I was a new Baha'i in the early 1970's. We had a great celebration, which was capped by an impromptu play put on by some of the children who organized it upstairs. About a Hungry Dinosaur, the plot was short and sweet with all the important storytelling elements.
Monday I was out and about on multiple errands, including replacing the bulb in one of my Honda's brake lights, which entailed driving back to the shop after several blocks to retrieve my water bottle. What was distracting me, besides the rain and traffic, was an enormous wave of anxiety: I had decided to reapply at the place I used to work ["Heartland"] and was terrified even to drive into the parking lot. I get that way about the physical places I used to work. For years I couldn't drive past Regency at Tacoma without breaking into a cold sweat.
I did force myself to enter the lobby, and it was very reassuring to see my old friends the receptionist, the admissions coordinator, the social services director, and the rehab nurse. I also saw the person in charge of Central Supply and told him how much I had missed his organizational skills. At "Mountain View" the organization, including Central Supply, was a hideous mess. One over the counter medication or another was always out.
Anyway, I picked up an application and had some good brief encounters, and felt so much at home I was very relieved. I dropped off the application yesterday. If they do interview me, I'm sure I'll have lots of 'splainin' to do. But I'm willing to do it.
I also picked up an application at a plastics manufacturing plant in Fredrickson near Boeing, a place so secretive one must pick up the app at the guard's kiosk, peel on out of there, then return to drop it off. I have little background in the field except for the painful years I spent sewing in factories. But the friend who referred me there seems to enjoy it.
Visiting "Heartland" has awakened my loneliness for friends there. I suppose that's good news; I never used to really make many friends where I worked. But it's painful.
Tomorrow back to WorkSource for the Job Club, and Friday to a mandatory meeting dealing with Unemployment. At least it will be with humans.
Last night I went to a lovely celebration of the Declaration of the Bab at Miss Lisa's. She had a hard time remembering the year, and we chimed in with a chorus of, "In 1844, Lord, in 1844, oh, the world passed away on the 23rd of May in 1844." Kind of a campy old song we used to sing when I was a new Baha'i in the early 1970's. We had a great celebration, which was capped by an impromptu play put on by some of the children who organized it upstairs. About a Hungry Dinosaur, the plot was short and sweet with all the important storytelling elements.
Monday I was out and about on multiple errands, including replacing the bulb in one of my Honda's brake lights, which entailed driving back to the shop after several blocks to retrieve my water bottle. What was distracting me, besides the rain and traffic, was an enormous wave of anxiety: I had decided to reapply at the place I used to work ["Heartland"] and was terrified even to drive into the parking lot. I get that way about the physical places I used to work. For years I couldn't drive past Regency at Tacoma without breaking into a cold sweat.
I did force myself to enter the lobby, and it was very reassuring to see my old friends the receptionist, the admissions coordinator, the social services director, and the rehab nurse. I also saw the person in charge of Central Supply and told him how much I had missed his organizational skills. At "Mountain View" the organization, including Central Supply, was a hideous mess. One over the counter medication or another was always out.
Anyway, I picked up an application and had some good brief encounters, and felt so much at home I was very relieved. I dropped off the application yesterday. If they do interview me, I'm sure I'll have lots of 'splainin' to do. But I'm willing to do it.
I also picked up an application at a plastics manufacturing plant in Fredrickson near Boeing, a place so secretive one must pick up the app at the guard's kiosk, peel on out of there, then return to drop it off. I have little background in the field except for the painful years I spent sewing in factories. But the friend who referred me there seems to enjoy it.
Visiting "Heartland" has awakened my loneliness for friends there. I suppose that's good news; I never used to really make many friends where I worked. But it's painful.
Tomorrow back to WorkSource for the Job Club, and Friday to a mandatory meeting dealing with Unemployment. At least it will be with humans.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Puyallup Feast
In my tiny Baha'i community of Puyallup, there is one other couple and I who tend to be more active; a few other people who have other considerations. So we had Feast with just three people, and it was wonderful.
That is all.
That is all.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Onomatopoetry
Spent the day on phone with one of my nursing friends, then a credit counselor I hooked up with while I was trying to check on my application for food stamps, so on and so forth, had to spend my planned time contacting possible employers a little later in the day than I would have liked.
Completed two online applications. Wasn't psyched up for a full-blown cover letter, resume cut-and-paste and application at first. Had just been snooping around, then, "hey, that looks good [or in one case, pretty marginal.]" Nerve-wracking to answer questions online, copy and paste resume, and so forth. Funny, that's how I used to feel about paper applications in the old, old days. I don't think I could have coped with the psychology of clicking the right button and filling in the right info RIGHT NOW online, back then. I can barely do it now.
So my friend in an email was talking about onomatopoeias, [oh, dear, still the red line of doom, thought we had sorted out how to spell that] and he asked for some onomatopoetry.
Onomatopoem:
A girl who went online
Thought her work search was going just fine
Till the message board crashed
And her resume dashed--
Now her outlook is less than divine.
Completed two online applications. Wasn't psyched up for a full-blown cover letter, resume cut-and-paste and application at first. Had just been snooping around, then, "hey, that looks good [or in one case, pretty marginal.]" Nerve-wracking to answer questions online, copy and paste resume, and so forth. Funny, that's how I used to feel about paper applications in the old, old days. I don't think I could have coped with the psychology of clicking the right button and filling in the right info RIGHT NOW online, back then. I can barely do it now.
So my friend in an email was talking about onomatopoeias, [oh, dear, still the red line of doom, thought we had sorted out how to spell that] and he asked for some onomatopoetry.
Onomatopoem:
A girl who went online
Thought her work search was going just fine
Till the message board crashed
And her resume dashed--
Now her outlook is less than divine.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Like a Bird On a Wire
I haven't connected again with the Health Services Director for Classy Skilled Nursing Facility. I may attempt tomorrow. Tomorrow I also plan to attend a seminar at WorkSource on older applicants.Walking the fine line between letting them know I'm still interested, and stalking. To me, stalking means I send a Holiday card more than once in five years.
Since early in the morning, I had an extreme degree of anxiety. My tasks were to apply for at least four jobs this week. I meant to do as many as possible today. I was able to complete an application and cover letter and send out with resume, to one facility. I also wrote a letter to a dear MD that used to work in the facility I just left. Last year I had asked if she could ever give a reference to me: today I wrote to let her know I'm listing her. My anxiety is debilitating.
I mailed the application etc, plus the letter to the MD and something else, at the Post Office. Then I came to DeCoursey Park and sat with my prayer book, praying and watching ducks and ducklings for an hour or two. Eventually I did start to recover from the anxiety, between the prayers, the sunshine and ducks, and the people passing who were friendly.
I called my landlord to inform him I am out of work. I had been dreading it, even though he is a very nice guy. I just hate having to negotiate when I can't meet my obligations. He wants 50% of rent. Could be a big problem, as I still have no income as I await a decision on my application for unemployment benefits. Tonight I also applied for food stamps and anything else I can qualify for, and contacted one of my references, who works at night. I was afraid to wake her up, but able to leave a voice mail.
I made daal soup for dinner, plus an ear of corn and some spinach, and watched a PBS show on how crows are so intelligent. They showed a study they did in Seattle on facial recognition in crows and how they can pass it on to other crows and even their offspring; the battle in Japan to keep crows from using wire coat hangars as a nesting material which can short out electrical wires and cause outages; using raptors in Canada to dispel a very large gathering of crows in their community.
I like crows, and the way they play, for example in a windstorm.
Since early in the morning, I had an extreme degree of anxiety. My tasks were to apply for at least four jobs this week. I meant to do as many as possible today. I was able to complete an application and cover letter and send out with resume, to one facility. I also wrote a letter to a dear MD that used to work in the facility I just left. Last year I had asked if she could ever give a reference to me: today I wrote to let her know I'm listing her. My anxiety is debilitating.
I mailed the application etc, plus the letter to the MD and something else, at the Post Office. Then I came to DeCoursey Park and sat with my prayer book, praying and watching ducks and ducklings for an hour or two. Eventually I did start to recover from the anxiety, between the prayers, the sunshine and ducks, and the people passing who were friendly.
I called my landlord to inform him I am out of work. I had been dreading it, even though he is a very nice guy. I just hate having to negotiate when I can't meet my obligations. He wants 50% of rent. Could be a big problem, as I still have no income as I await a decision on my application for unemployment benefits. Tonight I also applied for food stamps and anything else I can qualify for, and contacted one of my references, who works at night. I was afraid to wake her up, but able to leave a voice mail.
I made daal soup for dinner, plus an ear of corn and some spinach, and watched a PBS show on how crows are so intelligent. They showed a study they did in Seattle on facial recognition in crows and how they can pass it on to other crows and even their offspring; the battle in Japan to keep crows from using wire coat hangars as a nesting material which can short out electrical wires and cause outages; using raptors in Canada to dispel a very large gathering of crows in their community.
I like crows, and the way they play, for example in a windstorm.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Missed Connections
Monday I take WorkSource Modules all day; Tuesday and Wednesday I rest, basically; today [Thursday] I go to the WorkSource Job Club in the morning, sans breakfast, pick up produce at Cappy's, cook and eat, try to nap, and watch excellent movie "Winter's Bone."
I check my phone for messages just now at 11 PM and realize a voice mail was left for me by "Classy Skilled Nursing Facility" on Monday, requesting an interview, which somehow I missed until today. They are going to think I am an idiot.
Will keep readers updated.
I check my phone for messages just now at 11 PM and realize a voice mail was left for me by "Classy Skilled Nursing Facility" on Monday, requesting an interview, which somehow I missed until today. They are going to think I am an idiot.
Will keep readers updated.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Connections
Yesterday, Monday, I went to Modules 2 and 3 at the WorkSource office, on transferable Skills and Abilities, and Job Search Strategies. Since yesterday was a delightful, sunny day, with lots of sunshine following [and no doubt preceding] lots of rainy days, attendance was skimpy, so there were only one or two other participants. At one point I stood up to attempt a "60-Second Commercial" introducing myself and began talking about what I loved about Nursing: how I love to hear, "you are my favorite nurse"* and how I loved making a difference in people's lives . . . and had to stop because I choked up. And then the tears came. The instructor said, "I can't imagine why you want to leave this profession, when you feel this way!" I blurted out, "because they [bosses] treat us like machines, and I'm sick of it!"
It was good to make that heart connection again, and remember what fires me to want to help and connect with people. I have a lot to think about, as I try to transition into something psychologically and professionally safer. In the meantime, I mailed a neat application, a new resume and a cover letter to the Classy Skilled Nursing Facility on Friday. I'm always in this Catch 22 trap: I'm a f***-up in a challenging position which is classified as In Demand, so I'm continually under stress, continually failing in some way, but unable to draw an income any other way so I can change gears and turn the corner to get out. And there's little support from the State for making a transition, so I fall through the cracks.
*Even though the cynical part of me realizes that people are often being manipulative when they say I'm their favorite nurse, it still feels good to hear it.
I play "Yes, but" a lot when people say, "oh, you should try this" or "have you thought of that?" Part of feeling stuck is that I've pondered a lot of options, but always found some reasons, usually aspects of my brain wiring or personality, why they wouldn't work. This last two weeks I've heard a lot of suggestions for options I've already tried, such as home health.
I'm terrible at making connections, networking, collecting people for references. I'm so pitiful at the latter that my only two good solid references date back to two lovely nurses I worked with at Gentiva, and have such a hard time keeping track of them that I call them whenever I lose a job, just to make sure they're still alive and have the same phone number. I'm also not very enterprising, which limits what I can do with the arts in terms of supporting myself.
What has really amazed me lately is how that brazen little voice in my head is becoming more distinctive, coming out of the woodwork like the worms which crawl out of the soil when the hobbits are hiding from the Nazgul. That snide but effective little voice saying, "you're nothing, you're worthless, and you'll never do anything right."
It was good to make that heart connection again, and remember what fires me to want to help and connect with people. I have a lot to think about, as I try to transition into something psychologically and professionally safer. In the meantime, I mailed a neat application, a new resume and a cover letter to the Classy Skilled Nursing Facility on Friday. I'm always in this Catch 22 trap: I'm a f***-up in a challenging position which is classified as In Demand, so I'm continually under stress, continually failing in some way, but unable to draw an income any other way so I can change gears and turn the corner to get out. And there's little support from the State for making a transition, so I fall through the cracks.
*Even though the cynical part of me realizes that people are often being manipulative when they say I'm their favorite nurse, it still feels good to hear it.
I play "Yes, but" a lot when people say, "oh, you should try this" or "have you thought of that?" Part of feeling stuck is that I've pondered a lot of options, but always found some reasons, usually aspects of my brain wiring or personality, why they wouldn't work. This last two weeks I've heard a lot of suggestions for options I've already tried, such as home health.
I'm terrible at making connections, networking, collecting people for references. I'm so pitiful at the latter that my only two good solid references date back to two lovely nurses I worked with at Gentiva, and have such a hard time keeping track of them that I call them whenever I lose a job, just to make sure they're still alive and have the same phone number. I'm also not very enterprising, which limits what I can do with the arts in terms of supporting myself.
What has really amazed me lately is how that brazen little voice in my head is becoming more distinctive, coming out of the woodwork like the worms which crawl out of the soil when the hobbits are hiding from the Nazgul. That snide but effective little voice saying, "you're nothing, you're worthless, and you'll never do anything right."
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Tide Pools, Ducklings, and Smalls
Yesterday I drove to Tukwila and picked up a lady who wishes to move to Puyallup as a "homefront pioneer" but still lives in Whatcom County. We came back to Puyallup to find an apartment for her that qualifies for Section 8. We had a list of such, but we weren't sure if it was complete. Anyway, first we stopped for coffee [for her] and Rooibos tea for me and started to organize our search. Then we went to the Crossroads apartments and the very helpful person there spent at least 20 minutes looking online and phoning people to get a viable list of apartments that take Section 8. She may have saved us, not just hours, but days, as we would have driven to one complex and the next to find out merely which apts qualified. So blessings on her.
The first complex we checked seemed to have a barbeque going on nearby. Actually, my friend discovered that the beauty bark was burning behind the show apartment. There was a circle of ash in the midst of the bark, with smoke rising from it, and even an area impinging on the building. We weren't impressed with their response to the emergency, part of which consisted of kicking dirt, which was more beauty bark, onto the smoldering mess.
Anyway, we drove around all day, then back to Tukwila, and I got back at dusk. That was my Saturday.
Today I went to Titlow Park Beach and joined a "Tiptoe Through the Tidepools" nature walk. At first, looking at a great expanse of round, slippery and muddy rocks covered in seaweed, I wasn't very impressed. Then, tagging behind some families that knew their way around a little better, I saw some exciting things.
I saw red crabs from 4 to 8 inches across the shell, orange and purple sea stars, small 4" multi-armed sun stars, a limpet, a tiny juvenile red octopus, a small fish which resembled an eel but was called something else--didn't write down the name, and forgot--and a multitude of barnacles on every rock. I thought about making a small quilt on the theme, due to the multiple colors of sea life there. I also learned to identify three types of seaweed, and saw tiny shrimp, and lots of small humans. It was a great morning in the sunshine. After the walk, I took my book and a skimpy lunch and read in the sunshine at the park.
Driving home I passed DeCoursey Park in Puyallup and couldn't resist seeing if there were ducklings yet. I read some more in the sun and watched 3 or 4 families of ducks with ducklings swimming up and down the river. One had "junior youth" sized lings. And there were lots more small humans.
Came home and had some beet soup and toast, filed my weekly claim, and I'm preparing to wash some clothes.
And that's my Sunday.
The first complex we checked seemed to have a barbeque going on nearby. Actually, my friend discovered that the beauty bark was burning behind the show apartment. There was a circle of ash in the midst of the bark, with smoke rising from it, and even an area impinging on the building. We weren't impressed with their response to the emergency, part of which consisted of kicking dirt, which was more beauty bark, onto the smoldering mess.
Anyway, we drove around all day, then back to Tukwila, and I got back at dusk. That was my Saturday.
Today I went to Titlow Park Beach and joined a "Tiptoe Through the Tidepools" nature walk. At first, looking at a great expanse of round, slippery and muddy rocks covered in seaweed, I wasn't very impressed. Then, tagging behind some families that knew their way around a little better, I saw some exciting things.
I saw red crabs from 4 to 8 inches across the shell, orange and purple sea stars, small 4" multi-armed sun stars, a limpet, a tiny juvenile red octopus, a small fish which resembled an eel but was called something else--didn't write down the name, and forgot--and a multitude of barnacles on every rock. I thought about making a small quilt on the theme, due to the multiple colors of sea life there. I also learned to identify three types of seaweed, and saw tiny shrimp, and lots of small humans. It was a great morning in the sunshine. After the walk, I took my book and a skimpy lunch and read in the sunshine at the park.
Driving home I passed DeCoursey Park in Puyallup and couldn't resist seeing if there were ducklings yet. I read some more in the sun and watched 3 or 4 families of ducks with ducklings swimming up and down the river. One had "junior youth" sized lings. And there were lots more small humans.
Came home and had some beet soup and toast, filed my weekly claim, and I'm preparing to wash some clothes.
And that's my Sunday.
Friday, May 4, 2012
My First Week of Unemployment
Hello,
It's been a busy week. I got certain things done on Friday the 27th. On the 28th I went to Feast in the evening in Pierce County. On Sunday the 29th I went for a walk with friends at Clark Creek Park, where I struggled to keep up, as exercising has taken last place on my schedule while I was working full time, but it was a pleasant journey. We stopped to say prayers in the woods, with sun peeping through the trees, and the sounds of the creek and the birdsong. In the evening I went to a Holy Day potluck in Northeast Tacoma which was wonderful. I was excited as I found a new route from Puyallup through Fife to NE Tacoma which is very simple and saves a lot of time.
Monday I researched lawyers on the internet, going from the online yellow pages, for two hours. I contacted one firm through their form, which focuses solely on employment law from the point of view of the employee, not the employer [there were plenty of those.] They must have discerned there was no money in the case, as I never heard from them. I went to Feast at Tacoma, which was also wonderful. I ate a lot of unhealthy but very delicious food. I missed so many Feasts and Holy Days while I was working full time evenings, that I had a lot to "make up."
Tuesday I finally filed for unemployment online, printed out the application for a skilled nursing facility in the north end of Tacoma which is a very classy place, meaning I either will fit in very well, or I won't. I had my final meeting with the Human Resources Director and the Executive Director at my old job, which was at least civil, even though we failed to really come to an agreement about what I should have done during the episode which cost me my job. They did say that they will not release any information to other companies about the circumstances. [So it is up to me and my conscience to report to prospective employers the circumstances of my termination, when they ask.]
Wednesday, May 2 was very busy. I was up very early [for a person working until now on the evening shift] and attended an orientation to WorkSource, what used to be known as the Employment Agency. I came home for lunch, returned and went to a very useful workshop on interviewing skills and techniques, which was very encouraging. I then drove out to a Holy Day celebration in Northeast Tacoma, an hour and fifteen minutes late, but I was welcomed anyway. That was enjoyable, but I wasn't catching up on my sleep.
Thursday I slept in somewhat, went to the Library and returned a DVD which I had waited for months for, but now don't have the time or interest to watch . . . seems like a pity. I'm reading a lot of books by Michael Connelly, enjoying them a lot. Then I attended another seminar on writing resumes and cover letters, which I thought was very useful.
This morning I printed out again the application for the skilled nursing facility I mentioned before. I'd had the impression that they had an online version, so I had used the app. for a "dummy", filling it out as a reference for applying online. Today I realized it is necessary to mail in the app, so I filled out a nice copy, wrote a new resume, and wrote a specific cover letter to the company, signed and delivered to the Post Office to go out on the last pick up.
In the meantime, I heard from a Baha'i who wishes to move to Puyallup, and is staying for a few days in Tukwila. Tomorrow we arranged for me to drive up and bring her to Puyallup to hunt for apartments or whatever. I just printed out three different ways to get there from here, so I can think about which way will be simplest.
After mailing off my application, I went back to Clark Creek park for another walk. The sun again was peeking through the trees, making it a beautiful walk. I decided to bring a walking stick next time, in case I slip in the mud or on a root, or trip or step on a moving piece of gravel. Since I'm not as fit as I used to be, and less adept, also my eyesight is more difficult with progressive lenses, I realized I need to take more precautions. Sad to be aging, and no, it doesn't beat the alternative. But I have lots to do, yet.
I need to cook tonight. Possibly some beet soup, which will last awhile.
Sunday I will file my weekly claim with my job search record [even though I am sure it will be rejected, I have to try], and I'm thinking of taking the family Nature Walk at Titlow Park. Monday, another seminar at WorkSource on skills and job search techniques. I was informed that this particular seminar is good for figuring out how to transfer skills to some other type of job, if possible.
I continue to appreciate the encouragement I receive from everyone.
It's been a busy week. I got certain things done on Friday the 27th. On the 28th I went to Feast in the evening in Pierce County. On Sunday the 29th I went for a walk with friends at Clark Creek Park, where I struggled to keep up, as exercising has taken last place on my schedule while I was working full time, but it was a pleasant journey. We stopped to say prayers in the woods, with sun peeping through the trees, and the sounds of the creek and the birdsong. In the evening I went to a Holy Day potluck in Northeast Tacoma which was wonderful. I was excited as I found a new route from Puyallup through Fife to NE Tacoma which is very simple and saves a lot of time.
Monday I researched lawyers on the internet, going from the online yellow pages, for two hours. I contacted one firm through their form, which focuses solely on employment law from the point of view of the employee, not the employer [there were plenty of those.] They must have discerned there was no money in the case, as I never heard from them. I went to Feast at Tacoma, which was also wonderful. I ate a lot of unhealthy but very delicious food. I missed so many Feasts and Holy Days while I was working full time evenings, that I had a lot to "make up."
Tuesday I finally filed for unemployment online, printed out the application for a skilled nursing facility in the north end of Tacoma which is a very classy place, meaning I either will fit in very well, or I won't. I had my final meeting with the Human Resources Director and the Executive Director at my old job, which was at least civil, even though we failed to really come to an agreement about what I should have done during the episode which cost me my job. They did say that they will not release any information to other companies about the circumstances. [So it is up to me and my conscience to report to prospective employers the circumstances of my termination, when they ask.]
Wednesday, May 2 was very busy. I was up very early [for a person working until now on the evening shift] and attended an orientation to WorkSource, what used to be known as the Employment Agency. I came home for lunch, returned and went to a very useful workshop on interviewing skills and techniques, which was very encouraging. I then drove out to a Holy Day celebration in Northeast Tacoma, an hour and fifteen minutes late, but I was welcomed anyway. That was enjoyable, but I wasn't catching up on my sleep.
Thursday I slept in somewhat, went to the Library and returned a DVD which I had waited for months for, but now don't have the time or interest to watch . . . seems like a pity. I'm reading a lot of books by Michael Connelly, enjoying them a lot. Then I attended another seminar on writing resumes and cover letters, which I thought was very useful.
This morning I printed out again the application for the skilled nursing facility I mentioned before. I'd had the impression that they had an online version, so I had used the app. for a "dummy", filling it out as a reference for applying online. Today I realized it is necessary to mail in the app, so I filled out a nice copy, wrote a new resume, and wrote a specific cover letter to the company, signed and delivered to the Post Office to go out on the last pick up.
In the meantime, I heard from a Baha'i who wishes to move to Puyallup, and is staying for a few days in Tukwila. Tomorrow we arranged for me to drive up and bring her to Puyallup to hunt for apartments or whatever. I just printed out three different ways to get there from here, so I can think about which way will be simplest.
After mailing off my application, I went back to Clark Creek park for another walk. The sun again was peeking through the trees, making it a beautiful walk. I decided to bring a walking stick next time, in case I slip in the mud or on a root, or trip or step on a moving piece of gravel. Since I'm not as fit as I used to be, and less adept, also my eyesight is more difficult with progressive lenses, I realized I need to take more precautions. Sad to be aging, and no, it doesn't beat the alternative. But I have lots to do, yet.
I need to cook tonight. Possibly some beet soup, which will last awhile.
Sunday I will file my weekly claim with my job search record [even though I am sure it will be rejected, I have to try], and I'm thinking of taking the family Nature Walk at Titlow Park. Monday, another seminar at WorkSource on skills and job search techniques. I was informed that this particular seminar is good for figuring out how to transfer skills to some other type of job, if possible.
I continue to appreciate the encouragement I receive from everyone.
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