Anticipatory Grieving

Sunday my husband's daughter and her husband and I, as well as the doctors and nurses at Good Sam, tried to get him to accept dialysis. He also phoned this quack he has been to who runs a clinic in Eatonville feeding people juices and herbs, which is supposed to cure everything from cancer to obesity to kidney failure. My husband decided he would rather forego dialysis and take his chances with the quack.

His daughter and her husband spent the night at the hospital. Nobody got much sleep. I texted his daughter this morning to see how things are going, and she replied, "We're taking him home now." I was a little concerned that maybe she was angry at me, but it turned out that she was fielding a lot of phone calls and conversations at the time, so she sounded a little terse.

I don't know whether my husband will try to go to the quack or not, but for now his daughter will stay with him to take care of him. 

My husband came home to Eatonville with his daughter and son in law; I picked up some cleaning supplies and met them at the farm house. While my husband slept upstairs, we puzzled over a list of dietary recommendations for a renal diet. Most of my husband's favorite foods are taboo: any beans, peas or lentils; potatoes; beets; oatmeal; whole grain breads; bananas; etc etc. He also needs to limit his fluid intake.

The farm house was a horrible mess because of previous renters. I started cleaning the stove, looked inside the oven to find a cake pan with two molded, dessicated pork chops. We threw out garbage, I cleaned the sink and washed what dishes I could recover, cleaned the counter, cleaned the upstairs bathroom my husband will use, and called it a day. The daughter and I agreed it was a lot easier to focus on concrete tasks.

Meanwhile my husband slept soundly at least 3 to 4 hours, then woke alert and refreshed, and I helped him up [his mattress is on the floor] and he went to the bathroom. I found his cell phone and gave it to him.

Driving to Puyallup from Eatonville I bawled the whole way home, with a motorhome on my tail and the familiar road passing by.