Zikhru'llah

About 10 or 15 years ago, I had a home health position that was so challenging [in terms of the people I was working with] that I literally couldn't get through the day without serious prayers in the morning. At the same time I developed the theory that if difficult tests cause me to say heavy-duty prayers, I may as well say the prayers and maybe I wouldn't need the tests, so I wouldn't have to go through tests. I guess it sort of worked.

Currently I've been ruminating on the idea that I still only call on God when I have problems or difficulties and so forth. I'd like to move to a level where I pray for the delight in God's presence, or for the love of God, and so forth, not just because I have a problem.

I'm not there yet. It's just a goal.