Express Delivery

So as a diligent parent I agreed to cover my adult daughter's health insurance under my new insurance with my job, which kicks in April First--I hope not with the usual April Fools associations. To include my daughter on my insurance, it is necessary to fax them her birth certificate, so they can prove that yes, she is really my daughter.

This is dumb already. Our names are completely different, and anyone can obtain anyone else's vital records in this state. So what does this prove?

Anyway, until this week I was working 7:30 to 4:00, basically the same hours as the Vital Records office is open. [Recently I switched to 7 AM to 3:30 PM.] Hmm. Fortunately, last week I went to the dentist and afterward, just barely had time to skip over to Vital Records to get the birth certificate. This would have probably cost me about $17.00 cash. Unfortunately, when I got there I saw a notice posted which explained that office moved into the Health Department building across the street, which, by the time I got there, had closed.

Fortunately, I went online and discovered that I could order an "expedited delivery" of the birth certificate, delivered to my door. Wonderful. Unfortunately, this cost $54.00. Fortunately, I decided to bite the bullet and pay the extra cost so I wouldn't need to miss any work. Time is of the essence. Unfortunately, I received a notice of a failed delivery affixed to my door on Friday at about 10 AM. It turns out that for some reason it is necessary to sign for the package, and they will try again Monday at 2 PM and Wednesday at 1 PM and so forth. But not when I will actually be home.

Fortunately, it's possible to go online and arrange for the package to be held for me in a UPS office in Fife, which is open from 8 AM until 6 PM. So I finally learned something which has bothered me subliminally for some time: how to get from Puyallup to Fife. Because of the river in between, and no direct freeway route, it always seemed as if they exist on separate planets. So I learned this rather exacting route down River Road, crossing the river at the bridge [by the store which sports a moose with full antlers on the roof--really!], then driving down Levee Road which has no shoulders or guard rails, but deep ditches on either side, and so forth by side roads to the UPS office.

So I signed for my package and then had a great meal at the Poodle Dog restaurant. Which has upgraded its menu quite a bit and doesn't serve canned peas on the side any more. In a way I miss the canned peas.

That's what I had to do to receive this express delivery. Except the part about the Poodle Dog. That was optional.

I feel as if I was in a Chekov story.