Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Live, or Memorex?

Many people who disbelieve in God do so because they hold the point of view that to believe in God would absolve one of accountability or responsibility for their lives or their choices, and that would not be acceptable. So they have to have gotten here spontaneously, naturally, like a mushroom, instead of being created. Which is not such a bad thing, either. I wouldn't have any objection to it.

One time about ten or twenty years ago my friend BJ said something that astounded me at the time. "God helps everybody, not just people who believe in Him." I suppose it sounds really arrogant, but I had never thought of that.

I rely on God more and more in my life. Even several years ago in nursing school I was praying every time I took a test. Would God have allowed me to pass my state boards if I really was unqualified? I think, no. Then I realize that, for all I know, He might allow this to happen all the time. So it's interesting to think about what defines "help", and what is the will of God.

When I had a difficult home health case with a very manipulative client who had an overbearing, controlling husband, I had to say prayers for 45 minutes every morning just to make it through a single day. I know, because in the two or three years I worked this case, I skipped my prayers just once, and I barely made it emotionally. Which begs the question why I didn't just find a different case? Lack of confidence. It can't have hurt me to say so many prayers, also.

So if God helps everybody [whether they want His help or not], which proportion of their lives did they create independently, and which proportion did they have help on? Which part of my life is live, and which is Memorex?

We can't tell.

This is a humbling thought. All the time I am, in my prayers, turning my life over to God, I'm already there.