In the comic strip Pogo, in the mouth [or maybe it was in the beak] of one of his characters, Walt Kelly comments: "Don't take life so serious, son--it ain't nohow permanent."
I've been failing at my relationships, in the throws of a struggle to save my house by refinancing, feeling extremely stressed at work, and kind of wishing for death, which shows how depressed I am. Buddhism teaches that the cause of suffering is attachment.
In the fall of 2006, my daughter and son-in-law were living with me in my former house, and I was looking at us a happy extended family. So I accepted my son-in-law's help in putting down some money on a down payment and closing costs for a house I could afford the interest-only payments for, but really couldn't afford. Let me count the ways that was dumb. Fast-forward the 31 months my [now former] son-in-law lived in the house without having to make any of the outrageous mortgage payments, and I decided to try to refinance a house for which the two loans are worth about a third to a half more than the estimated resale value of the home.
Eventually the current interest-only mortgage payments will rise to an unaffordable rate and I will be facing foreclosure and I will lose the house. If the house is foreclosed it will trash my credit and I will not be able to purchase a home, only rent one. I have tons of stuff and three cats.
Here is why I would like to stay here, besides the huge cost of moving and the enormous hassle. It has a huge yard abutting other huge yards [instead of looking out on other roofs as in a development]; a wonderful unobstructed view of Mt. Rainier out of my bedroom window; speaking of windows I put in very expensive energy-efficient vinyl windows last year; I redid my bath enclosure in beautiful ceramic tile; the kitchen and dining room floor, once vinyl, are now mahogany hardwood, thanks to moi; and I have great ideas for re-doing the kitchen if I ever get rich. And my stuff and daughter and cats are here.
Former Son-in-law wants his "investment" back, and refuses to sign the quit-claim deed to get off the title and the mortgage, even though I could have sworn he has indicated in the past his motivation to get off the mortgage. So here we are, stuck. Meanwhile I am on my first extension of the refinance offer/process with my bank and time is running out. The good news is that I went to a lawyer, who is friendly and nice and wonderful. Whether her approach to son-in-law is effective or obtains desired results in the short amount of time left, remains to be seen.
I hate waiting to see what happens. Even though I've done what I can, and at this stage things are out of my hands, I hate the suspense. Will I have to say goodbye to my wonderful home? I practice saying goodbye subconsciously a hundred times a day. This is where I need more detachment so I can move on with my life.
Which ain't nohow permanent, anyway.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
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2 comments:
The best way to avoid stress, if you own a house, is to put down all your available money on the mortgage. You can save enormous amounts of interest that way. When the mortgage is paid off, THEN spend money on things like mahogany floors and fancy bathroom tiles.
" Contentment with poverty is Fortune's best gift; Riches and Honor are the handmaids of Disaster. Though gold and gems by the world are sought and prized, to me they seem no more than weeds or chaff." FU HSUAN (A.D. 217-278)
Surely lack of materialism is a more satisfying way to live for someone who, like you, seems to seek the spiritual. To own a small house that is paid for might be better than a mansion which holds you in debt.
Meanwhile, perhaps rent rooms to those who can help with the mortgage?
Comments and advice always welcome--even in Korean.
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